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dreamsfate · Aug 22, 2010, 05:23 PM

Okay here's my problem/question.

I have been dating this guy for almost 3 months now things have been good. Keep in mind I know his ex from years ago,I'm friends with her too. The guy I have been dating and that girl have a daughter together but now she is happily married, and her husband is adopting their daughter. ANYWAY... the other day she emailed me out of the blue told me that this wasn't out of jealousy etc.. But out of concern for me because she doesn't want me to get hurt etc.. Anyway, she continued to tell me all kinds of horrible/negative stuff about the guy I have been dating, from being emotional abusive but also physically too, and he is a major drinker who turns into those people when drinking. He also used hardcore drugs in the past etc... This is just a gist of her emails to me. Again, she is happily married so I don't think it's a jealousy thing. My gutt tells me sadly that she is telling the truth.. but my question here is.. do you think she is telling me the truth.. or? This guy even lied to me about saying how he was married to this girl when in fact they were only just ever engaged, she broke it off with him when he really became a major druggie and a major abusive guy. Feedback please.

Kitkat22 · Aug 22, 2010, 05:40 PM

She has no reason to lie. She's happily married and maybe she want you out of the situation she herself was in at one time.

If you feel in you "gut" she is telling you the truth then I would
Take it as the truth.

He must have displayed some of the behaivour she warned you about or you wouldn't even consider she's telling you the truth.

talaniman · Aug 22, 2010, 08:26 PM

My gutt tells me sadly that she is telling the truth.. but my question here is.. do you think she is telling me the truth.. or? This guy even lied to me about saying how he was married to this girl when in fact they were only just ever engaged, she broke it off with him when he really became a major druggie and a major abusive guy.

Seems you know he will lie, but its your call whether you believe her or not. Have you seen anything in your 3 months of being with him? Is this the guy you were seeing behind your exes(?) back??

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nt-485598.html

dreamsfate · Aug 22, 2010, 08:40 PM

Lol that isn't my post its my sisters, we live together... so she said I could go on her account to post my question.

talaniman · Aug 22, 2010, 08:43 PM

Well you can see how confusing that can be so tell your sister to get her own account, and stop cheating on the guy she is/was with.

Devorameira · Aug 23, 2010, 05:41 AM

It doesn't appear that she has any motive in telling you about his abusive behavior, so I would definitely beware.

You need to watch him very carefully, as verbal/emotional abuse can come on so slowly that you don't realize it until it's too late and you're too insecure to get out of the relationship.

Follow your gut instinct on this one. If you see or you've seen even a hint of that type behavior, you need to RUN away.

FoxCash · Aug 23, 2010, 05:55 AM

He has a daughter but is allowing his ex's husband adopt her. If that doesn't say a lot about what type of guy you're dealing with her, hopefully that email does.

Like everyone else says she has no reason or motive to lie. There are people out there that actually care about another person and would do anything to prevent them from going through the same hell that they went through. She sounds like one of them.

He already lied to you about one thing, how many more lies are you willing to stand for?

You said you and her are also friends. She's looking out for you! Take what she said and run from this guy and do not look back.