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    dreamsfate's Avatar
    dreamsfate Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 5, 2010, 02:16 PM
    Meant to be.. or?
    Here's my question. I have been with the same person for several years now, sadly I know especially lately it has no more potential. For reasons I won't get into because my question does not deal with him.

    Recently I got reunited with someone who I haven't seen or talked to in years, and it feels like it was just yesterday when we lost touch. Anyway, I find myself talking to him all the time, on the PC, or the phone,or text messages. And I sneak away a lot to spend time with him. This is not me at all by doing this such a thing, but its obvious I'm not happy in my current relationship. Anyway, we have been kissing a lot and being like a total couple, he even considers me his girl which is nice because eventho I'm in a relationship with someone for a long time, I do also feel that he is my guy. Its just not like me to flirt or anything when I'm involved with someone, much less kissing. Feelings are totally growing between the two of us. I just want some imput about this. And I'll answer any questions you may have.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert

    Jul 5, 2010, 02:39 PM

    Your current boyfriend is not providing you with what you want and need in a relationship, but this other guy does. He's giving you the attention that you're looking for.

    As a result, you are cheating on your boyfriend. First off, STOP CHEATING. Have some integrity.

    If you can't work things out with your boyfriend, then call it quits. Why are you dragging it out.

    How is this fair to the new guy? Basically you're setting yourself up for a rebound. Once you break up with you boyfriend, you have someone waiting on the sidelines for you.

    If you can't work things out with your boyfriend, then break up. Then take some time to clear your mind, in other words, back away from any potential guy. Once you've cleared your head, then proceed forward.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855

    Jul 5, 2010, 02:48 PM

    If its someone else you want, why can't you just end the old relationship, and start a new one after a proper healing?

    Why allow yourself to be a liar, and cheater, because you are unhappy with your present condition?

    When did being unhappy with your current partner justify what you are doing behind his back??

    Do you think that you have a good excuse for how you handle your unhappiness?

    Cheating makes you happy??

    Those are my questions.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291

    Jul 6, 2010, 04:29 AM

    You must tell the person you've been in a relationship with that its over, or you run the risk of getting caught, also no matter how bad your b/f is he's still technically your b/f until you and he end the relationship.

    Its not fair to him for you to be seeing someone else behind his back.

    First things first you do need to decide who you want to be with, however if you choose the old b.f. then you owe it to the other b/f to tell him where he stands, and end it with him, It would then be a good idea to have no contact with them either of them, you would be crazy to leave one b/f and jump into another relationship with the old b/f immediately, basically you have the let the bed sheets go cold on one relationship before you even contemplate another.

    Does each b/f know of the other or is it all secretly going on? In all honesty you're not really being fair to either of them and be warned sometimes these things can back fire and one day you wake up and they're both gone..

    The grass may appear greener on the other side but that's not true. Not true at all...

    Don't get into the habit of cheating it will all come crashing down on you in the end and other males will avoid you like the plague if you get that name for yourself. Males may indulge themselves with a girl who cheats but they don't want to take up with one for the long haul, because they'll feel you're not trustworthy..

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