[lmnm916]

I am a 22 year old mother and I am in a happy relationship I have a 2 1/2 yr old son and his whole 2 1/2 years of living his father only seen him at 2 months, 4 months, and 8 months(Yes three times) and he is not on the birth certificate and my fiancé been there for us since my son was born we tried letting my son see his father until he smashed in my windows when my son was 9 months due to him dealing with drugs and he is always in and out of jail which I as a mother would not let my son be around that kind of influence and my fiancé wants custody of my son do to the fact that everything my son see's or own's my fiancé bought and taught the only thing is that I am in a same sex relationship.
What should I do?

[Devorameira]

In my opinion, if he's not on the birth certificate and isn't paying child support through the court system, he shouldn't have any legal right to him.

IF he were to go to court and admit parentage, then it would be up to the courts to decide if he were fit enough to see him without having someone else present.

DOCUMENT everything just in case you end up in court someday.

Talk to an attorney to verify you and your son's legal rights.

[Fr_Chuck]

The father has the right to go to court for court ordered visits. So besides trying to fight that in court, there is little you can do.

What is the custody level now, what visitation does he have though court now. What is the court ordered child support

[Jake2008]

I do not know the legalities of these situations, but agree that you should consult an attorney.

It seems underhanded to me, despite how you characterize your child's father (you picked him), to look for ways to discount the fact that he couldn't potentially be a good father. People change. Obviously- you have too.

I don't think sexual orientation has anything to do with being qualified to adopt. At least it doesn't in Canada where it would be discriminatory under our Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

While you may wish to eliminate the father from his life, to me it doesn't seem fair, without at least advising him what your plans are. His response may be exactly what you don't want, but, at least you have given him an opportunity to respond. He is after all, this child's father.

To me at least, that seems the right thing to do. But your best bet is to cover all legal aspects, and have all your questions answered so that you don't end up with a surprise down the road, with a petition filed in court.

[ScottGem]

Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Children forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum. By posting in the appropriate forum, you can avoid responses from well meaning people that do not conform to statutory law.

Also, there is a sticky at the top of this forum that deals with the issue of terminating rights. That's only going to happen if you have someone ready to adopt or you can prove the father is a danger to the child. However both seem a possibility here.

So what you do is consult an a Family Law attorney who can advise you about what proof you need to get a TPR on the danger issue or what chance you have for adoption (given the same sex relationship).