[missay123]

Ok, so here's the story, Me & my ex dated for 13 months, Then last month he broke up with me. I got upset & just started crying so I called my best friend to tell her about it & I was crying to her & she said she'll talk to him & make everything okay.

So after 3 days went by I saw him at this volunteering thing, & he tells me that My best friend & him told each other they liked each other the day after we break up. & so of course I ran off & cried in the bathroom, & on fb I posted "I could never trust anyone because they will just stab you in the back & not even care" & my best friend got mad at ME for saying that, & I didn't even tag her & I even deleted it an hour later & we started fighting.

Then I ask my ex if he likes her & at first he says yes, but then he says no & we made up & started holding hands, & when we saw her again I told him to tell her the truth & he looks at me says, "actually I do like her" & I just get pissed because he lied to me & we we're holding hands just awhile before that happened!

But after she leaves he gets upset & confused because he says he's lost, & I try to comfort him & he just hugs me & lays down with me on his couch saying "can't I just be with you & no one else?" & we started acting like we were together again & he promised me that he only told her he liked her because she said she liked him first & I believed him. & my best friend & ex tells me that they aren't going to be together because it would hurt me & they don't want that, But then he tells my other best friend that he likes her & the day after he told me he didn't & we just started fighting. & after awhile we made up & he told me he was just doing that so I can let go more & not be obsessive & says that he was going to try to get back together with me in October, but we just needed a break for now.

But a few weeks after my best friend, who told me she wasn't going to be with ex, came back from another state, him & her started hanging out more. & yesterday I had to use his phone to call my sister & I wanted to see if he deleted all my text messages & I found texts from both of them saying "i miss you", "can you sleep here tonight?" "can't wait to see you" & much more, & I find out that he slept over her house a few days ago, & when I told him he promised me he wouldn't flirt with her he tells me that he was crossing his fingers that time. & they both tell me that they didn't want to hurt me so they lied to me telling me that they never flirted & I just got so angry, but they felt like they had to lie so I wouldn't get upset & hurt. But I rather would have them to tell the truth than to be lied to.

But my problem is, I still want to be with him, I know call me crazy, but we were together for 13 months & we've only been broken up for a month & he's already replacing me, & it just hurts so much. & I have to see them everyday because he's manager of my sport & she's on the team as well. I just don't know what to do :'( Please help, it's okay to be tough on me.

[Homegirl 50]

Are you serious? You want this clown back?
Get a brain girl. How could you trust either one of them again.
"fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"
How old are you?

[missay123]

I know it's stupid to want him back, but I don't know why, I just do, & it's even more harder that I have to watch them fall in love while I'm by myself because I can't move on. & I'm 17

[Homegirl 50]

Girl you have a whole life ahead of you. I think it just bothers you because you are alone. So you'd rather be with a creep than be by yourself. That is stinking thinking.
Are you in your last year of High School?
You can spend this last year having fun with friends without the worry of him being jealous or you can spend the year having people talk about you behind your back because your boy friend and best friend are smearing crap in your face.
Which would you prefer?
This boy is so not worth it.

[Jake2008]

You are 17, and the plus side of all this is that this didn't all happen 10 years from now, complete with a few babies, a mortgage and a car payment.

What are you hanging onto, except the fact that clearly love is blind for you.

He is not behaving in any other way, other than a 17 year old way. Nor is girlfriend #2, nor are you.

The problem lies in why you need to set your standards so low, and why you aren't mature enough to realize that this isn't love. It might be wanting love, or needing love, or thinking you have to have love, but, it is not love.

I think your expectations of him are too high, and of yourself, far too low. You settle for the tiniest shred of affection, peppered with superficial white lies, which cover up typical 17 year old behaviour in your boyfriend, your best friend, and yourself. All of you are walking on a river of very thin ice, and none of you have the skills to survive when it cracks, and breaks.

That comes with experience, and learning. But the bottom line is, the only person on this earth that can you can count on, is you. You determine and decide who you want in your life, under what circumstances, and you decide what behaviour you will accept, and what you won't. Your decisions are your own, and your bad decisions cannot be blamed on anybody but yourself.

Take a good hard look at your relationship with your boyfriend. The most basic, and most important factor in a successful relationship is trust. Followed by many other things, like fidelity, honesty, morals, values, reliability, etc. Without those building blocks, you are left with feelings of doubt and confusion.

Try to be more critical of how you have allowed yourself, to accept the bad behaviour of others, and switch that to more of why you give away so much of yourself, for so little in return.

You are in charge of your life. Hanging onto a crumbling relationship is going to leave you very empty in the long run.

Instead of trying to figure out what your boyfriend and your best friend are really doing behind your back, put the information front and centre, and deal with it for what it is. It may mean letting go, and finding somebody a little more mature, or a different type of person. At 17, this relationship, should not define who you are.

[martinizing2]

Don't ever let a boy treat you like that.
You deserve respect , which includes not being lied to.
How could you ever trust him after this? And no trust , no relationship.

This guy is waving three or four "I'M a lying loser" flags.
Take the excellent advice offered by the two ladies in the previous posts.
You couldn't find better advice from anywhere,

[talaniman]

You may not be crazy, but you sure act like it because your real problem is the choice of boyfriends and friends you hang around.

Stop following your HEART, and use your HEAD.

[CHRISTINA7]

Exactly.
There are more fish in the sea!
Pick yourself up!
This is the game to show who is better than who.
We all know you are better, life happens,friends happen and if this happened it wasn't even a FRIEND to start with!
I know it will be hard to let go.
First I think you should delete your Facebook.
1. why?
1-ANSWER: You will be looking at their pages EVERYDAY and CRY about it. You don't need hurt.
2. But I have other friends on it!
2-ANSWER: Im sure the important people on your Facebook have your number and will contact you.
3. What if I'm addicted?
3-ANSWER: you might be. So be proud of yourself and delete it and go on. Posting your life on a public website, god knows how many friends you have that are seeing every status update! People want you down so they can rise. You don't need to pay attention to that! After you have cooled down about this whole deal you can you and RE activate your Facebook. :-)

Hope this helps!

[missay123]

Thanks for the advice guys :) I appreciate it.
Yesterday, He said he could never replace me, & he still wants to do the plan to get back together in October. I told him that I can't, He did too many things that hurt me & its not worth it. But it still hurts, knowing My best friend & him are flirting and all that. But I'm no longer talking to any of them anymore. It hurt's a lot, & I still like him, & still want to be with him, but I just keep telling myself that he needs to know that what he did wasn't right.

[missay123]

Thanks for the advice guys :) I appreciate it.
Yesterday, He said he could never replace me, & he still wants to do the plan to get back together in October. I told him that I can't, He did too many things that hurt me & its not worth it. But it still hurts, knowing My best friend & him are flirting and all that. But I'm no longer talking to any of them anymore. It hurt's a lot, & I still like him, & still want to be with him, but I just keep telling myself that he needs to know that what he did wasn't right.

[Homegirl 50]

Yes, and you deserve to be treated better.
You don't need people in your life who treat you with such disrespect but you also cannot allow them to keep doing it.
Leave him alone for good.

[CHRISTINA7]

Good luck! I wish you the best!