[kimchilover123]

He gets turned on every time we kiss, and we make out every time we see each other, no sex though. We see each other around every other day, sometimes everyday.
Does he really like me or is he seeing me for sexual urge only? Should he get turned on just by a kiss?

[Kitkat22]

How old are you? How old is he? Is the same guy you had oral sex with or the ex boyfriend? I've read your other threads and this guy is probably using you because
He's heard about your other relationships.

Don'tlet a guy use you and expect him to respect you. Learn how to control yourself before you start something you can't finish. Guys talk among themselves, remember that.

[kimchilover123]

He should be 31 and I am 23. He's the guy I am currently dating. I never initiate contacts while he wants to see my quite often. So do you think he's seeing me on sexual urge?

[kp2171]

Should a man be turned on by your kiss alone?

I hope so. There are many posts of men and women who are dismayed about lovers who are no longer responsive to their touch or kiss... so... I see no reason to berate the man because you arouse him with your kiss.

Do you disagree?

As for is he using you... how can we tell from this post? All you have said is that you make out a lot and you kiss and he gets aroused.

That, stand alone, isn't a red flag.

I mean... really... every Big Love I ever had... I wanted to kiss... I was attracted to... I was aroused by... so... sexual tension is not bad. Just my opinion.

As for the other posts... I'm lazy. I just cannot stand reading through a dozen other threads and wondering what applies here and what doesn't.

So...

Here's a good rule for conflict resolution...

Who has the problem? Is he upset? Are you?
Why?
What is the core issue? Not the surface problem, but the root core issue?
What does resolution look like? What is an acceptable answer? What is needed for this to not be a problem?

Its all a guess, and I'm willing to be wrong... not my first or my last time...

But I'm guessing you have the problem. You are uncomfortable. You are off balance. Nothing wrong with that... we've all been there... you just don't want to stay there.

The problem on your side is trust. You don't talk like you want his kiss. You are uncomfortable with accepting his attention as normal... or you need more quid pro quo... something for something... you are willing to barter physical touch for something else you aren't getting... so what is the something else?

What do you need from him to be comfortable with him physically? If you cannot spell it out yourself... well... how will he know what you want unless you demand it?

Not saying this is your fault. I am making you responsible for your own sexuality. Its one of the most powerful things a woman can control. To know her needs and wants and demand them.

So...

You feel off balance. Like he is using you maybe. What is preventing you from taking control? Fear of his leaving? Fear of moving forward? Explain.

I might surprise a few here.

As much as I think sensual touch is one of a few major pillars of any relationship... I'm not willing to push anyone into any position they are not ready for.

It is entirely possible that his needs and your needs are both valid, however conflicting.

If that's the case, it just means you are a bad match at the moment. Happens. You can both be right, just not quite right for each other... at least not yet.

One of my biggest loves lost was to bad timing. We were just on different pages. Different needs at the wrong time. It happens.

So... please explain more... complete, concise detail is always favored.