Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
    Dogs Expert
     
    #1

    Aug 16, 2010, 02:48 PM
    Appropriate or inappropriate?
    I was watching a talk show today, and they were discussing appropriate and inappropriate child and parental behavior. The panel was split by two separate groups of people.

    One side thought it was fine to be naked in front of your children, bathe with them, dress and even use the bathroom in front of their children. Provided, they wanted to be in the same room and weren't uncomfortable with what was happening. We're talking ages new born-11, all though there were some mothers who still changed and bathed in front of their teen aged daughters.

    The other side of the panel was appalled by these actions, they thought it was perverted and disgusting. One woman went as far as to yell at her daughter when she ran from the bathroom to her bedroom in a towel after a shower. Same woman had a fit because her teen aged daughter had her bedroom door locked because she was naked. The mother said that the daughter didn't need to be naked in her house, and even though she was behind a closed and LOCKED door, she was not allowed to just hang out in there naked.

    One woman said it was border line child pornography. (Not sure where she was trying to go with that one) It sparked another discussion about having pictures of your kids while they are in the tub. Again the same parents who thought that it was okay to be naked in front of their children, had pictures in an album of their kids as babies in the bath tub.
    One of the arguments of course was that this was in fact child pornography. My mother has pics of me while in the tub as a baby, and I have pics of my daughter in the tub.

    Is there such a risk that these pictures may fall into the wrong hands, that why take the chance of even having these pictures around? Or are all those parents who have bath pictures of their kids all perverts? Myself and family included.

    And is it wrong to change and be naked in front of your child, provided you are both comfortable with the situation, and if there is a cut off, what's the age?

    Discuss...
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Aug 16, 2010, 02:55 PM

    For me it would be very uncomfortable letting my children see me naked. Bathing with our children when they are 11 years old is unthinkable.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Aug 16, 2010, 03:38 PM
    We're still naked in front of our kids, oldest is 9. That's going to stop soon though.
    I vowed not to saddle my children with irrational hang ups.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 16, 2010, 03:48 PM

    11 is too old to be bathing with your kids. I can't imagine an 11 year old wanting to bath with a parent.

    I used to dress and undress in front of my daughter and she me, although when she got to be a certain age I noticed she would turn her back if I was in the room. That let me know it was time to let her have her privacy.
    She is grown now, she will change in front of me, no big deal.
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
    Dogs Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:17 PM

    My daughter is 3 (on Saturday), and I change in front of her, obviously she bathes in front of me, but I remember my cousins (female) having showers with their mothers up until they were maybe 10. Usually only when we were camping, or vacationing. But they still did it.
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
    Dogs Expert
     
    #6

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:18 PM

    Any one have any thoughts on the bath tub photo's?
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #7

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:20 PM

    There's a 16 x 20 portrait of me at 18 months naked on a bearskin rug hanging in my mother's guest bedroom. In 1959 it was no big deal, lots of those portraits were taken.

    Nowadays I'm not allowed to shoot the S.O.B. who messes with my daughter, so I guess something else has to be done. I've chosen to tease her about being "hot" so she won't be self-conscious or embarrassed to report any untoward events.
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
    Dogs Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:27 PM

    I think that having an open, honest relationship with our kids is going to be the only leg we have to stand on. Especially in today's world. I remember being a teen and adults saying how "bad" our generation was, that when they were our age they never thought at sex, drugs, booze and rock and roll. I am saying these same words about the PRE teens now a days. My Gawd, I am only 26, and I feel ancient. I feel so behind the times, even Alty has a cooler lingo than I do ;)

    I want E to be able to come to me and ask me questions and be able to tell me if something is wrong in her life. It's a common question between myself and my peers, birth control, to provide or not to provide... Better safer than sorry? Or letting them think it's okay to be having sex as long as they are careful. I know this is going off topic, but that's why I put it in the member discussion.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #9

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:41 PM

    I have always had open discussions with my daughter, her dad did too. We have always told her she can talk to us about anything, and she did (somethings I would have preferred not to hear)
    Bathing and changing in front of them, I think it all depends on the child. When you see they are embarrassed it's time to back off. That is respecting their privacy.

    Nude pictures, never took any of my daughter, never saw the point or thought about it.
    Nowadays with everything Online, those pictures could get in the hands of wackos so that is something to think about.
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
    Full Member
     
    #10

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:50 PM

    I think baby bath photos are fine. I mean they arnt being used by the parents as a sexual stimulant.

    Yes they could get into the wrong hands but if you don't spread them to the whole world they cant.

    My mum used to dress in front of me. Now I turn away or if she walks into my room I turn around so she can't see my boobies.

    My sister dresses in front of her kids. They are 3 and almost 2. She had photos and videos of them in the bath. They are not sexual but the kids having fun. When you watch them your not looking at their bits. Your looking at the smiles on their faces and the fun their having.

    Some people just like to complain.
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
    Dogs Expert
     
    #11

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:50 PM

    Absolutely Home girl. I have a pic of E in the tub, and it is literally shoulders up, but she does have a bubble beard and hair. Tee hee. But it's those pics that stay in the family photo album, not on online albums.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #12

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by aimee_tt View Post
    I think baby bath photos are fine. I mean they arnt being used by the parents as a sexual stimulant.

    Yes they could get into the wrong hands but if you dont spread them to the whole world they cant.

    My mum used to dress in front of me. Now i turn away or if she walks into my room i turn around so she can't see my boobies.

    My sister dresses in front of her kids. They are 3 and almost 2. She had photos and videos of them in the bath. They are not sexual but the kids having fun. When you watch them your not looking at their bits. Your looking at the smiles on their faces and the fun their having.

    Some people just like to complain.
    I didn't say were wrong, I just said I never took them.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #13

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:57 PM

    Those pictures that stay in your family album are OK. I'm just saying you need to be careful with downloading pictures and sending them out On line.
    Too many wackos in the world
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
    Full Member
     
    #14

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:01 PM

    Homegirl I wasn't directing that at you. I didn't see your post till after I wrote mine. I was directing them at the people on the TV show saying they were porn.

    I agree, they should be kept away from others.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #15

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:03 PM

    OK. No problem
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
    Dogs Expert
     
    #16

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:04 PM

    Oh I totally understand where you are coming from Homegirl. I just never thought of them as child porn before, but like you said, there are SO many weirdo's and sicko's out there, that do see them in that light. It's scary. One defintley needs to use their better judgment when posting photo's of themselves and their loved ones online.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #17

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell View Post
    Oh I totally understand where you are coming from Homegirl. I just never thought of them as child porn before, but like you said, there are SO many weirdo's and sicko's out there, that do see them in that light. It's scary. One defintley needs to use their better judgment when posting photo's of them selves and their loved ones online.
    You guys might even notice that the Hurricane and I are the only photos you'll find even here.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #18

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:21 PM

    The world has changed so incredibly much during the past fifty-plus (even ten!) years. What was okay when I was a kid isn't okay now. Back in my day, little kids could ask any stranger to help them in a public washroom and there was no problem. Strangers would give us rides home from a ball game with no problem. Librarians would take the hand of a lost child while walking around the library looking for the child's parent. (That's forbidden now, part of library policy.) When you'd take a picture of something, you got the negative too when it was developed and didn't worry that the developing place had kept copies. A woman at the grocery store could leave her purse in the cart and walk two aisles over and then come back to her untouched purse. There were problems here and there, but it was truly a kinder, gentler world back then. I shudder over what I read in the daily newspaper every morning.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
    Vision Expert
     
    #19

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:26 PM

    I think that changing in front of a child until they are 4-5 is okay, after that they get curious. Bathing with a child past that same age is kind of pointless as they have figured much of it out and just need supervision. Pictures of children in a tub is fine. I am however bothered by people that post those online or ones of their children running around in just a diaper. There's nothing wrong with this... but putting it on the internet is just a bad idea.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #20

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:31 PM

    You are so right Wondergirl, we live in a scary time. We have to be very careful with our kids. What was once innocent is now some weirdo's fantasy.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Inappropriate contact with an ex? [ 2 Answers ]

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 months and we have made plans to move in together in 2 months. My boyfriend's birthday passed a few weeks ago. His most recent ex (they broke up 2 months before he started dating me - and he dumped her) sent him an email just after his birthday inviting...

Is this inappropriate? [ 8 Answers ]

Can someone please please help - I am so worried - can't think of anything else. I need opinions on this, because when I was young I was abused by my father, so I think that has clouded my judgment on what is appropriate and what isn't. What I mean is I am thinking that I might be thinking it's...


View more questions Search