[loveless044]

Sometimes my boyfriend will start acting like a butt. For example, he starts getting smart about everything I say to him and if I mention sex he gets mad. Then a couple days later he'll tell me he doesn't know why he doesn't want a girlfriend anymore but he just doesn't. So I'll cry about for a couple days and I just let go. He still texts me and calls but not as much. Maybe once a day. And some days he won't. He'll still tell me he loves me and he misses me and will change the signature on his phone to "i made a mistake" or "I feel so stupid" or something like that but keeps acting like he doesn't want me. So eventually I just started acting like I didn't care because I knew it'd make him think I'm about to let go completely and move on. This would go on for about two weeks and then I'd just tell myself that I'm going to let go because I've waited long enough and I know he doesn't want me anymore so I won't hold on any longer. So I stop texting and calling him for a couple days. Then suddenly he'll call me and me being as nice as I am, I just talk to him. He called talking about something that happened during the day and suddenly started telling me how much he missed me and missed hearing my voice. I'd just say "oh ... i miss you too" and I'd change the subject. But eventually he'd say "oh my gosh you just don't know how much i miss you" and again I just say "oh ...... and i miss u too"... then the conversation dies and he says "look, i miss you so much. can we fix this". I didn't know what we would be fixing. We weren't broken! We were broken up! He didn't want a girlfriend anymore and then he wants me back... I love him so much... I couldn't say no but I was cautious about saying yes either... So I asked "are you sure that this is what you want because i can't deal with you constantly leaving me for no reason"... I just assumed he wasn't ready for love. Or things just got too good and he thought it wouldn't last... After accepting him back into my life he said he never wants to hurt me or anyone else again because he was hurting so bad during the time that we were separated. I didn't believe him at first but now every time he gets an attitude about something I assume we're about to break up. It's hard to be positive but I know that it'll hurt less if I see the end coming before it gets here rather than it just sneaking up on me.. . he's only broken up with me like this twice. And it was about three months between the break ups. We've been together about 1 month since the last break up. The entire length of our relationship has been about 6 months. Not long at all to be breaking up like that... I just need to know what's going on with us. Every time I ask him why he left me like that he says he was just being stupid and he'll never do it again but that just doesn't help me understand... I just don't know...

[loveless044]

Hello,
I'm a 17 year old female and I have a 16 year old boyfriend. He has family that lives in other states like Texas and he never really sees them. Since we've been together he's seen them once. We've been dating about 6 months and they las visited a month ago. When they came to town to visit, I couldn't get any time with him. I understood that they would be in town for a couple weeks and he'd be spending a lot of time with him, but he completely dropped me. Or at least that's the way it felt to me. After they arrived he went to stay those two weeks with them at his uncle's house and he wouldn't call me or text me. Whenever I texted him he'd talk to me for five minutes and his cousin would tell him to "come play the video game" and he'd rush me off the phone and go do that for hours. I was used to hearing from him before I went to bed and when I wake up in the morning. It just wasn't working for me to not hear from him at all.

One night he and his cousin were playing the video game and his cousin stopped playing to talk to his girlfriend on the phone and instead of my boyfriend making him get off the phone with his girl (like he would do to us) he'd text me and tell me to call him. Then when his cousin is done talking to her he'd come kick us off the phone. I told him it was wrong. If all they're doing is playing a video game then why can't he at least text me. And he usually has the volume on his phone turned up. He kept it on vibrate and kept it put away while he was with them like he just didn't want me talking to him. He always said I was really the only one who texted him and called him which obviously meant he was trying to keep only me from talking to him.

Then he suddenly breaks up with me! But through the entire break up (which was the break up I mentioned in my first post) he acted like he made a terrible decision (just read the first post to get the details on that break up)... finally his cousin leaves town and then he calls me and wants to get back together (that was also explained in my first post)... basically he said that he wanted to fix things, he missed me, he was being stupid, blah blah blah

... Then my cousin, who plays football with my boyfriend, tells me that my boyfriend told him that we were no longer together because he was trying to spend time with his cousin and I didn't want him to. Which I feel was a lie because he was trying to ignore me completely just because his cousin came to town.

I was okay with sharing him but just not having him aruound completely for two whole weeks was ridiculous. That's plenty of time to forget I even had a boyfriend and start working on a new one. Yeah yeah yeah I know he's only going to see them for two weeks and then see me forever after that but seriously, I'm his girlfriend. I do still exist

Was I wrong for wanting SOME of my boyfriend's time. Or was he wrong for wanting to give ALL of his time to his cousin?

[j3211]

The best indicator of the future is the past. He will be happy until he gets bored then he will do it again. Because you've taken him back twice you have now put it in stone that it's OK to treat you like that. I'm sorry but it seems you've got a lot of heartache coming. I hope I am wrong. Good luck

[loveless044]

I hope so too. But thanks

[FoxCash]

It would be healthier for you two to put the relationship on hold. A relationship where you're constantly waiting for the end to come is now way to be with anyone. I don't blame you for reacting the way you have been but how much can you really love someone and work on a relationship when you're always just wondering when they're going to leave?

It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants in his life, with you, or even in any relationship. And until he figures those out it is something that is going to continue on.

You are right you haven't been together long enough to have to be going through this. Take a break, keep the break, and let him take the time to figure out why he keeps doing it so it can stop from happening. Saying he was stupid is not reason enough and fixes none of it.

[loveless044]

You are so right. Thanks so much

[loveless044]

What are some questions that I can ask my boyfriend to know that he is serious about us. When I ask him where he thinks this relationship is going he say "i dont know". I asked him if he ever thinks about that kind of stuff. He said no. I asked why not he said "i dont know. i just don't"... Is he even serious about this relationship? We've been together six months and I know I love him and he says he loves me. What do I do? What do I say?. I don't want to be with him for only a little while and waste time when I can be getting serious with someone. I want us to either grow into something real or either let go before either of us end up hurt.

[lickemlolly]

Try asking him... tell him how you feel... plain out ask him are you serious about this relationship.. sounds like your guy isn't really ready to commit and isn't trying to rush anywhere anytime soon.. hes just floating down the lazy stream of comfortable... the same things you are saying here you should tell him... communication is ideal in a relationship and he may not even realize you are having these feelings

[Starry nights]

If he's avoiding answering your questions,that's something to think about.Or maybe he hasn't gotten past the dating stage yet and doesn't want to get serious too fast.

Only two people involved in a relationship know when its time to take the relationship ahead.And such things can only happen with communication.The way you have it,could be the deciding factor though.

While having "the talk",set the right expectations,tell him what you want in a relationship and ask him if his match yours.Be direct,honest and firm without being rude,offensive and too dramatic.

Then take a decision.

[talaniman]

Its terrible being young, and not knowing what to do, or say. For one thing, you have to understand he likes attention, YOUR attention, but has no clue about what going together is about, and this has to be really strange to him. But for your part, your expectations are sky high, and he confuses you.

That's because you both want something, but don't know exactly what it is, and are afraid to speak to each other about your feelings. Let me correct that, you both have expressed your feelings, but haven't listened to each other.

He was clear, he wasn't into a commitment thing with you, so that leaves just friends when you get together. You must be just as clear, that that leaves you free to date, and see any one you want, and he has no more rights other than friendship.

That's the confusion, you expecting more than he is capable, and him having feelings but not enough to make you happy, or make him act the way you want him too.

Stop going in circles, and realize you have nothing with him really, so you can stop expecting it. You may have feelings, but he is just NOT boyfriend material for you.

Sorry, but you can't force him to be either.

[courtney515]

I've been through the same thing. I wanted to give up on my boyfriends so many times. We broke up about 6 times during the first year of our relationship. I did the same as you, but I kept giving him chances. I thought I would regret it, but Now we've been together for 2 and a half years and we haven't broken up in over a year. I still have trust issues every now and then, but I will never give up on him and will not take back our relationship for anything!

[courtney515]

Boyfriend*