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giggles8805 · Aug 6, 2010, 10:58 PM

It started when we met at work about two years ago. We started of as friends and eventually started dating. As soon as we started dating we began to have problems with his ex. It seemed to me that he still had feelings for her. I ignored it, I didn't want to accept it. In about 8 months we moved in. once we moved in everything went down. He hasn't been with me bad times or good times. We have a 5 month baby right now and the day that I was in labor he acted like a total jerk w me and I was in so much pain.he has broken up with about 4 times already. When he leaves me he always comes back saying he made a big mistake and wants me back. Once again he decided to leave me. As far as I'm concerned he left me for a slut that works there too. My heart is broken!

Kitkat22 · Aug 6, 2010, 11:13 PM

He is a loser. You and that little baby deserve better. Get away from the creep.

martinizing2 · Aug 7, 2010, 01:18 AM

Breaking up is hard and painful.

But being disrespected , cheated on, and shown no consideration is worse in the long run.

If you keep on with him expect this behavior. His type seldom change unless it is to get worse.

Do whatever you have to get him out of your life.
I would advise you to get a lawyer and establish custody, file for child support, and cut off all contact with him.

You and your baby deserve a better life.

redhed35 · Aug 7, 2010, 06:10 AM

Stop taking him back,stop being 'any port in a storm',he's using you as a stop gap anytine he needs someone to massage his ego or somewhere to stay.

You're the only one who can say enough! And get him out of your heart.

Make sure he is paying child support,he may have played you for a fool,but he still has responsibilities towards his child.

talaniman · Aug 7, 2010, 06:27 AM

You certainly squeezed a lot into a short time, and need to handle your business, and be a responsible parent now. Make sure that he is also through the court system, but other than the child you have together, keep this guy at a safe distance.

Let the judge listen to his excuses of NOT stepping up, and doing the right thing.

positiveparent · Aug 7, 2010, 09:08 AM

Hes a cheat and a user, dont have him back ever, you and your baby deserve better, and without him youll find it, he wont change, and you wont go anywhere in this relationship, kick him to the curb where he belongs, before he can have any influence over your little baby. Really hes a waste of space. lose him and move on.

lickemlolly · Aug 7, 2010, 12:51 PM

Stop taking him back.. dont even talk to him unless its regarding the baby.. plain and simple.. cut him out of your life to the point where if he's not calling regarding the child then tell him you got to go.. no short talk no baby I miss you and need you back.. he has proven to you that he is not worth your time.. and yes it will be hard to get past him for a little while but it does get easier and you and the baby will be better off for it... you will find someone worth your heart in time... concentrate on you and your baby and get him in court as soon as possible for support...

Kitkat22 · Aug 7, 2010, 12:55 PM

You have a case of "doormatitus"
The cure is stop being a doormat and stay away from him. You deserve better and so does that baby.

positiveparent · Aug 7, 2010, 12:59 PM

I second that diagnosis Kit.

have to spread the rep again!!

vanheart · Aug 7, 2010, 06:37 PM

Dump this loser, but make sure he takes some financial responsibility for your child. There's free counseling advice out there.

Safe distance is right.

Deadbeat dad?

Kitkat22 · Aug 7, 2010, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by vanheart

Dump this loser, but make sure he takes some financial responsibility for your child. Theres free counseling advice out there.

Safe distance is right.

Deadbeat dad?

Do get even... get everything:D

vanheart · Aug 7, 2010, 07:20 PM

Im sure that you are going through lots of turmoil right now.

But you and your child are #1.

Don't want to revisit what conversations you both have had when he knew you were pregnant. But, kids need stability. Even with a single parent.

Make sure you have the proper support both emotionally, legally & otherwise to ensure that both you and your child are happy, safe and looked after.

I have this really good friend. I met her when I was a teenager. We clicked & are lifelong friends.

She met this guy in SF, ended up up having his baby.

He was well off but skated, she raised her daughter on her own. With some $$ support from him on occasion.

Her daughter is beautiful, talented, smart as a whip and going to college.

Im proud of her.

giggles8805 · Aug 10, 2010, 04:11 PM

Thanks so much for the advice! It helps so muuuch

talaniman · Aug 10, 2010, 07:05 PM

Pay attention to the red flags from now on. Like exes in a persons life.

Talaniman Rule- Stay away from any one that has an ex involved in their lives.

Talaniman Rules- Run, don't walk, away from any romance in the place that you are employed.

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and thats only after the lust has worn off for you both.