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stingray454 · Aug 3, 2010, 07:17 AM

Okay, the scenario is, my wife and I have been having trouble for a couple of years. On May 1, 2010 I found a house to rent a room and moved out. I have over the past few months gone over to our house to help with various yard work, including going over while her and the kids were out of town for a vacation weekend. We are filing for divorce at this point, but she has told me she will not ask for child support, she makes $150k+ per year, I make 36k. As part of the divorce paperwork, she wants me to sign a quitclaim deed on the house, telling me that she will give me 25% of the proceeds when she sells the house when our youngest, (16year old), gets out of high school. She stated that since I have abandoned her and the kids for three months now, if I don't sign this, she will try to get the courts to rule that I get nothing in the divorce.

Now, here is my question, since I left, the kids have had birthdays, I paid out of my pocket for the youngest to get a cell phone and I paid out of my pocket for the oldest an up-graded video card for his computer, I have also paid for lunch and movies on the weekends, (from time to time). Does she have a leg to stand on that I have "abandoned" the kids?

JudyKayTee · Aug 3, 2010, 07:22 AM

You did not abandon your children - this is posted at the head of this section and it is recommended that people with similar questions read it before posting because it is quite comprehensive - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-364259.html

Tongue firmly in cheek - unless she's a Judge and will hear this matter she cannot dictate what will or will not happen. Further, you are foolish if you do not have legal representation in this matter as it will cost you in the long run.

I would also NOT stay in the family home now that you have officially moved out and have another legal address - she can charge you with trespassing. I'm not saying the charge will stick but you can be charged.

You need an Attorney. Due to the disparity in income there is a very good chance that she will be ordered to pay at least a portion of your legal fees.

ScottGem · Aug 3, 2010, 07:37 AM

This is definitely not child abandonment as the link Judy posted advises. It might be considered abandonment as grounds for the divorce since you have left the marital home. However, since you didn't disappear and continued to be a part of your children's life I doubt if she could put through what she says.

But, I see nothing wrong with signing a settlement agreement as long as it specifies everything. If the agreement states that a) she waives any claims to child support, b) that she will pay to you 25% of the proceeds of the sale of the house, that you are entitled to visitation according a schedule to be determined AND that this settlement is approved by a court.

But you would be better served by having your own legal representation. In any case, don't let her intimidate you. You have rights and make sure you stand up for them.

JudyKayTee · Aug 3, 2010, 10:25 AM

My concern is that there are assets other than the house - cars, savings, stock accounts, whatever else is involved. I also do not know what State "we" are talking about. OP should not settle short because his wife thinks he should. Someone should review ALL aspects of this and advise him, legally, of his rights. I'm not saying to drag this on but I question whether he should settle for 25% of the real property and walk away.

Again - depends on the State but it doesn't seem fair to me.

If the situation were reversed and this was a woman asking the question, my advice would be the same. "Fair" does not depend on the sex of the party who left.

And, yes, I see abandonment of the marital home and the marriage and that's why I advised him to stay out of the marital home.

Absolutely - needs independent counsel, even for a review of assets and nothing more.

ScottGem · Aug 3, 2010, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

My concern is that there are assets other than the house - cars, savings, stock accounts, whatever else is involved. I also do not know what State "we" are talking about. OP should not settle short because his wife thinks he should. Someone should review ALL aspects of this and advise him, legally, of his rights. I'm not saying to drag this on but I question whether he should settle for 25% of the real property and walk away.

Yes definitely, anything the OP signs needs to be an equitable distribution of marital assets.