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    happy2003's Avatar
    happy2003 Posts: 43, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Aug 2, 2010, 06:47 PM
    To move in or not to move in...
    My boyfriend and I are planning on getting engaged in December and married in May. We are currently trying to figure out if we should move in together or not. Currently we both work and go to school full time. Even with working our loans inevitably go to paying rent and bills. Our problem is both of our families would be very disapointed and upset if we moved in together. We realized that by the time we get married we will have put ourselves $12,000 dollars more in debt just keeping up separate apartments for the sake of appearances. We don't want to have more debt than necessary but we also want to keep our family relationships strong. Advice?
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #2

    Aug 2, 2010, 06:59 PM

    How about if you both start living in the Dorms?
    happy2003's Avatar
    happy2003 Posts: 43, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Aug 2, 2010, 07:33 PM

    Great idea except...

    1.) We are old. Well not really old, but 26 and 28. We are working on graduate degrees and work in professional settings... not so keen to go back to dorm life.

    2.) We attend a satellite campus. No on campus housing is available for anyone.

    3.) Boyfriend has a 5 year old son.

    Probably should have put that info in the original post...
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #4

    Aug 2, 2010, 07:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by happy2003 View Post
    Great idea except...

    1.) We are old. Well not really old, but 26 and 28. We are working on graduate degrees and work in professional settings... not so keen to go back to dorm life.

    2.) We attend a satellite campus. No on campus housing is available for anyone.

    3.) Boyfriend has a 5 year old son.

    Probably should have put that info in the original post...
    Gosh.. Maybe you could move back home and he could keep an apartment. Just an idea... 25 and 28... wish I were that young:D
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 2, 2010, 08:26 PM

    Then you decide what is more important to you.
    If you want to keep peace with the family, he can move in with his aprents until the wedding. These things can be worked out.
    It's not that far away.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #6

    Aug 2, 2010, 08:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Then you decide what is more important to you.
    If you want to keep peace with the family, he can move in with his aprents until the wedding. These things can be worked out.
    It's not that far away.
    Good Idea.:)
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #7

    Aug 2, 2010, 08:57 PM

    You're obviously old enough to make your own decision.

    Figure out what your priorities are first before making a decision.
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #8

    Aug 2, 2010, 10:32 PM

    Have you actually sat and had a discussion with your families? If they know your intentions and understand your reasoning, they might come around.

    If you aren't willing to go against their wishes, can you consider finding a roommate until May to share expenses?
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #9

    Aug 2, 2010, 10:43 PM

    Why not get married. That would solve the problem. Just an opinion.

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