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    Nilehig's Avatar
    Nilehig Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 1, 2010, 06:27 AM
    My boyfriend of two years doesn't want to have sex anymore?
    Hi,

    My partner and I have been together for just over two years.
    The start of our relationship was amazing and the sex life was unbelievable, we fell in love quickly and moved in together after about 3 months.
    He was always very affectionate and he told me he loved me only after about 2 months, we have had a very good relationship so far and we never have fights or argue.
    We have just been through a big change in our lives and we have moved interstate and now we are living with his parents until we can get a place of our own at the end of the year. The last month has been really tense and I feel disconnected from him, we havenít had sex in over a month and he has become very unaffectionate. Iím lucky to get a kiss in the morning, every time I try and touch or kiss him he seems to complain and make excuses why we canít (like heís sick etc )and I am feeling very unwanted. I would love to speak to him about this but I fear it will make things worse. I donít know what to and I feel like he doesnít love me anymore.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,087, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Aug 1, 2010, 06:48 AM

    You have been through a lot of stress lately and with living with his parents may not be an ideal atmosphere for sex, intimacy, or even any fun.

    I think you deal with this situation by not taking these difficult times as a personal rejection, but an opportunity to bond through communications. That means overcoming your fears, and backing away the impulse to be pushy, or needy. This will only distract you from the goals of the future, and patiently building a life together.

    That where your focus is, you recognizing where his head is at, at work together for the COMMON goal, as you improve the PERSONAL ones.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,785, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 8, 2010, 07:10 PM
    You are fearful of conversation this relationship is not going to work.
    Maybe he just does not want to be making out in his parent's home.
    Communicate. This is the only way either of you is going to know what's going on. If you can't communicate you will be operating on assumptions and then you will be bitter.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #4

    Aug 8, 2010, 07:27 PM

    I wouldn't want to have sex in my parents home or anyone else's home except my own. Give the guy a break.
    Nilehig's Avatar
    Nilehig Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 12, 2010, 04:52 AM
    Kids or No Kids?
    Hi everyone,

    I have been with my partner now for 2 and half years. I am 24 and he is 25, we are serious and have been living together since the start of our relationship. We are saving to buy a house together and things look bright for the future. However there is a big issue I am having. Since I have known my boyfriend he has always told me that he never wants to get married or have kids! (this is something I really want out of life, and I want it with him) I thought that he would grow out of it, and his mum also thinks that he will grow out of it.. but now I'm having doubts! He said it again to me the other night and he sounded very serious! He knows that I want to get married and have children but he doesn't really seem to care. I told him that we will have problems in the future and he just agreed! I haven't actually sat him down and really seriously asked him about our future and how I'm feeling, its always just comes up in general chat and jokes! I'm not sure what to do at this stage? He is still only 25 and we are still young and maybe he will grow out of it? I'm really unsure of how to approach this with out scaring him? ( I think he is scared?)
    ROLCAM's Avatar
    ROLCAM Posts: 1,420, Reputation: 23
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    #6

    Aug 12, 2010, 05:25 AM

    You both need PROFESSIONAL
    ADVICE.
    This is very serious!
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #7

    Aug 12, 2010, 05:42 AM

    I would not bank on him changing his mind,take what he says at face value.

    marriage and children are huge transitions for a relationship,if one partner is still on the fence when a child comes along your in for some very difficult times.

    sit down and talk to him,find out exactly what he wants.

    when you have that information then you need to make some serious decisions about your relationship.

    you both still have lots of time,but if he is adamant,then perhaps cutting your losses is the best way to go.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #8

    Aug 12, 2010, 05:48 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Nilehig View Post
    I thought that he would grow out of it
    That was your first mistake. I never understood many women's need to "change" the man they decided to marry.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #9

    Aug 12, 2010, 05:59 AM

    OP youre not getting off to a very good start or whatever, you can't change anyone, you either love him as he is or you dont love him at all, there will be nothing but heartache if you try to set about changing him, if you love a person you love them as they are, and that includes you accept their right to choose, meaning you dont try to change them, you would be better off go finding another b/f who does want children, You have a bad attitude if you set out intending to try to change another, youre taking away his right to choose. just to suit yourself.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,087, Reputation: 10852
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    #10

    Aug 12, 2010, 06:51 AM

    I sure wouldn't buy a house with a guy who you are waiting for him to grow out of it! That's simply INSANE!

    Refuse to make such a commitment until he grows out of it! That would be fair, since you want a family, and all he wants is a girlfriend for life.

    He wants the benefits without the commitment, or responsibility. Why go along with that? That's crazy. And a sure recipe for disaster.

    After your threads were merged, we have a bigger picture of this relationship.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,785, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #11

    Aug 12, 2010, 07:47 AM

    You are already having questions because he won't have sex with you, now we hear you have another bigger problem, he does not want marriage and kids and you do.

    You two are on two different pages and you need to decide if you want to stay on his or your own cause it's not likely you guys will meet on the same page. You don't stay with a man who does not want to marry just in case he changes his mind. You're not getting any younger.

    Get your own place.

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