[lifegoeson]

I am tired of been the second best in everything I do...
Its almost like I am afraid of competitions... people around me say I lack attitude,be it fighting for myself or performing on stage or getting marks in exams... I manage to pull a good response but fail to win.
Its very frustating,its like everyone around me has some expectations from me which I won't be able to fulfill.
But I am not happy been the 'almost'
Please advice
How to get an attitude?

[Clough]

Hi, lifegoeson!

Are you still in school somewhere? Also, what are your ambitions and goals in life, please?

I'm not sure what you mean when you write about "fail to win".

Thanks!

[lifegoeson]

I am 20 year old, in final year of ma graduation...
and for the time being getting into a good post graudate institute for management degree is all what I want.

and about my failure to win-its what I feel about the life in general...
in almost everything, like I have had friends who simply like me the way I am and share every part of their life with me,but no one has ever fallen in love with me... it might sound desperate,but I have never experienced the feeling of being the best at something or for someone,what makes it worse is that I am the second best!
also,like recently I am preparing for a dance show,I have been dancing for 7 years now,ma instructor who is also a friend,is very happy with ma body language,steps,expressions but feels I have no attitude at all,even as a person!
I am preparing for entrace exams for post graduate,my basics are quite strong,ma teacher feels I can be among toppers,but so far I have performed average in practise tests,he too says I lack the motivation-the attitude to win!
so,I get confused when ma 'well wishers' advice me to get some attitude in me!
what am I supposed to do exactly?
just for the reference I have a not so pleasant and supporting family and spend half of ma day assuring myself that I am happy the way things are... can it be that I am afraid of something because of it?
sometimes I feel I am constantly looking for support from others.

hope you that's good enough for you to get an insight of the matter.

[Clough]

Hi again, lifegoeson!

Do you have any brothers or sisters, please?

Thanks!

[lifegoeson]

You,an elder brother

[lJ.]

You should have personal goals. You should not compare yourself to others to achieve something great, you should rather set a personal best with yourself to achieve. You shouldn't focus on others veiws of you are, plus how does that even help you do better? Try your best at whatever you do, whether it's an exam or a game, and just try to do the best you can according to how much you practiced or studied, and try to do better than last time, and ignore any other people who try to make your life harder.

[lifegoeson]

Its hard for me to ignore other people... do you think that is why I lack attitude?
Is it normal?

[lJ.]

You do not lack attitude. I think maybe you should just change your focus way in on yourself. At some point people will be judging you [that goes for everybody], but you should try to practice-not ignoring it because that isn't necessarily healthy, but dealing with it. Maybe confront the person if they directly are putting unneeded pressure on you, or take a minute and breathe and remember your goal is to accomplish something and you should try your best and try for a personal best!
Also you say second best.. but sometimes it's quality not quantity. It's not about being second, it's about being able to do amazing at what you do, don't worry about if someone else is good at it too, just care enough that you did it. There's a quote that is something like 'there is always going to be someone better than you'.. meaning someone taller, someone faster, someone shorter or slower, or louder, etc. But just be aware of how you achieve things, then the only pressure will be coming from yourself on things. Just remember to appreciate your work, even if there's one person who doesn't.
Also, it may be hard to ignore other people. It depends on how they make you feel. Ignoring someone after not doing it for a while may take a little practice because it'ts a change in your behavoir a little. Try to not completely ignore them. But don't let bad things ruin your attitude it's not worth it! Just try your best in everything and be proud to see positive results. Good luck!

[lifegoeson]

Well I am trying to focus myself and think less about what other people might think... hope I am able to do this!