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54kev · Dec 18, 2006, 05:38 PM

Hi, My question is... My girlfriend is pregnant with my child however she is not happy with me because I like my beer and lost my drivers license. Also I never stay at a job very long and live with my mother. I am 24 years old. I now have a job but only make $11.00 an hour. She and her mother are concerned that I will not be a good father or responsible which I can understand. Now she tells me that she is not going to put my name on the birth certificate do I have any rights other then a court ordered DNA test. If something ever happened to her can I get custody of the baby or will her mother get it... Am I responsible for child support if I am not on the birth certificate... can I force her to have a DNA test?? Can I get joint custody if I am not on the birth certificate? Thanks in advance for your advice.

talaniman · Dec 18, 2006, 05:52 PM

Moved this post for bette exposure under this forum

CaptainForest · Dec 19, 2006, 01:26 AM

Dude, relax!

If she doesn't put you on the birth certificate (and most hospitals/states/provinces) won't even let her if you are not her husband….

You go to court and sue for custody.

They will run a DNA test. Once the proves you are the father, your name will be put on the birth certificate.

You should get some form of custody.

And also run a DNA test. Who is to say that you are really the father?

As to what kind of custody? Who knows. If you show the judge you are trying your best, perhaps even 50/50 physical custody, but again, who knows.

Hire an attorney to represent you.

ordinaryguy · Dec 19, 2006, 06:41 AM

Yes, you do have parental rights, and yes, you will be responsible for child support. Good for you that you care. The Captain is right. If you're serious about this you need legal representation. The sooner and more forcefully you assert your rights, the more likely they will be guaranteed and respected.

jrussole · Dec 19, 2006, 07:00 AM

Ditto. Good advice given thus far. But my concerns additionally are: If you are an alcoholic, don't you need help? Shouldn't you be concerned about straightening yourself out before thinking about taking on the parental rights of a child? This can back fire in your face if your not careful. Get support and get counseling and straighten out your life. Then maybe you'll be able to be a really good father to this child. And maybe your x-girlfriend will be more supportive? Your child will thank you someday for loving him enough to make some really difficult changes in your life in the long run.

texshorty81 · Jan 4, 2007, 01:11 PM

This is a touchy subject no matter what. You are going to have to think about what really means the most to you.

I am a single mother of 5 month old girl. The father of my child has opted to not be apart of our lives. I gave him so many chances and he threw them all away. What I suggest: think of everyone involved except you. No woman truly wants to go through pregnancy and childbirth alone. It is meant to be shared, even if you are just emotional support. We need someone to be there just to remind us that we are there for a purpose. Also, if you can not finacially be there for her right now, provide what you can. If it is just a promise that you want to change, that is better than not saying anything. If you want to be apart of your child's life, imagine how you would want to be treated if you were her/him. Would you want your father to not be there for you cause his can of beer was more important? No matter the outcome, both parties are responsible. God has blessed you with a gift, and you should see this as your way to better yourself. You don't have to stay with the mother, but you should at least do it for your child, cause it is unfair to the innocent.

I am not sure you want to hear any of this, but I would rather have a caring father who pays me nothing in child support, than a deadbeat who I will have to explain to my daughter time and time again why he is that way. I wish the best for you and hope you do what is right. Only you can decide that. Ask yourself what you think is morally best for everyone and just make it work.

Hope is something no one can take from you.

SingleMom7105 · Feb 3, 2007, 10:53 PM

You won't get your name on the birth certificate... I know this cause I wanted my ex's name on my sons. You can sign a paper to get it on there though! I couldn't get my ex's cause he was deceased. The hospital told me if I could get him to sign the paper then they would put his name on it but considering he was dead that's impossible! You can sue and get custody if anything ever happens. My suggestion is to start sending a check every month. This way if something happen the court can say "He has been giving her money for the baby from the begining it shows he is respondsible and can care for the child"

Your best bet, start sending her even just 50 dollars a month! Its something that will look good against you!!