[andrewpeagra]

My name is andrew and I am 23 years old, I had been seeing this girl for just over a year. (she is 19)
We broke up about 3 weeks ago, she would text me and call me everyday and tell me how much she loved me and how she would never do anything in this world to hurt me, we even talked about marriage.
Her reasons for ending in were that I took her granted, I wasn't romantic enough, and all I wanted to do was spend time drinking with my mates and no doing things with her on the weekend.
I would agree with her on all of those things, I always just thought she would be there, and got lazy in the relationship.
Every weekend I would rather had spent time with my mate and not her, and there were times I did think about ending it to.
I have realised now that I was treating her bad, and that our relationship had got boring, and would say it would mostly be my fault, she put all the effort in were I didn't as much
She has told me that she doesn't love me anymore, and that hurts a lot, but I also found out that a few day before we broke up, she meet another guy at a club, got his number and started seeing him the next day. That also hurt a lot.
I know that its over for good, well deep down inside I hope she comes back, I just don't know what to do and how to stop the pain hurting so much, I went out on the weekend and meet a girl, and we have agreed to see each other next weekend, but I don't think its right seeing this girl when I have feeling for my ex, I don't want to hurt or lead on anyone, we spent over a year together and went though heaps together, she has made me a better person for knowing her, like with how not to take people for granted, I have tried to make her come back, but she says its over and stop annoying her. I guess I just want her to be happy, and if being with me was making her unhappy, than I best let her go. I really would have never in a million years dreams this would have happened.
I could just want her more because I can't have her now, like if I really loved her, I would have spent heaps of time with her. All I want to know is how do I deal with things and have to pain of losing someone go away. Is there any advice anyone can give??
Thanks for taking the time to read this...

[ordinaryguy]

Well, you're reaping what you sowed, so pay attention to that and learn your lesson well. Time is the only thing that will make the pain disappear, and the more you try to escape it, the longer it will take, so you might as well plunge right in and get it over with. Wait at least a few months to get into another relationship, and next time try to make it with someone a bit older and more mature.

[ladyamethyst83]

Time. Time heals everything but I'm sure it still hurts. If you don't feel you should date yet then wait a while. The only thing you can do is learn from it.

[s_cianci]

Actually, I wouldn't put too much stock in that "took her for granted" jazz. That just sounds like a red herring. For whatever reason, she wanted to end things with you and that's the excuse she gave you. ANyone will tell you that a needy, clingy guy is a turn-off and so many posters on this forum have that problem. You rightly made her a part of your life only, not your whole life. But regardless, it's over and you've got to accept that and move on. Meet and date other people and don't feel guilty about it. Seeing other people and having fun with them will help your feelings for this ex dissipate all the more quickly.

[chuff]

You may have had some blaime in this but you don't share all the blame. She wasn't loyal to you so she gets blame as well. Start to find some hobbies and focus on some new things. With time the pain goes away but you must lose all contact with her now so that you can begin to heal.