[deeva21]

My 4-year old gets easily upset when we mention learning/reciting information that she has already been taught. She seems to get overwhelmed and has been known to cry. Do you have any tips on what I can do differently??

[Alty]

How often do you sit with her to do this?

It could be that she's just bored, or doesn't understand what she's learning.

At 4 there's only so long that a child can sit still and learn. It very well could be that you're sitting with her too often and her attention span isn't as long as yours, so she gets bored and no longer wants to sit and learn.

The more you push it, the more she'll rebel. Make it fun, something she'll want to do rather than something she's forced to do. Keep it short, and if she says no, not today, than find something else to do for a while. :)

If she's crying because she doesn't want to do this, you are pushing too hard. Continue and she may very well continue this behavior onto later years, where all learning will be work, not fun.

[deeva21]

Thank you for your response :)

We sit down with her a 3-4x a week and try to make every activity as fun as possible (i.e identifying her alphabet flashcards while tossing a bean bag). I also make a huge deal out of every milestone... which she seems to love. She gets easily upset.. which I have been trying to understand (she looked like she was going to cry when asked to spell her name... which she has been doing for over a year).

I completely agree with you-this is the time to establish her learning building blocks. Please recommend any tips that you may have as well as if your 4-year old reacted similarly to what I am currently experiencing and how your family got past it. Thanks in Advance :)

[Alty]

My daughter is extremely bright, she knows things she couldn't possibly know, figures things out easily, memorizes everything she sees or reads.

Having said that, I wanted to nurture that gift, help her make it grow, because it is a gift, one I never had. ;)

For a long time we'd do our studies, and we always made it fun, entertaining. One day we sat down to do our usual words, memorization games, and she just started crying. She was around 3, almost 4. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was just tired of doing it over and over again. She already knew it, why did she have to keep repeating it? It was frustrating.

I can't help but see similarities in your daughter. You said she's been spelling her name for a year now, but no longer wants to? She's bored. She's done it over and over again.

Put yourself in her place. If you got a new job, were trained in that job, but the person that trained you insisted on going over the training 3-4 times week, even though you already know how to do your job, didn't need any further training, how would you feel? Frustrated? Angry? Near tears?

Maybe it's time to move onto something else, something different, but also let her just be a kid. If she's not in the mood to do it, than take a day or two off. Let her dictate how long you sit for, and what she learns. At least for now.

She'll be in school soon enough, where she'll have to learn what they teach no matter what mood she's in. But at that age she'll be better able to deal with it. At 4 she can't.

Good luck to you. Enjoy this time, it goes by so fast.

[DoulaLC]

I agree with Alty... shelve the concepts she already knows for now. Try some learning games, but be sure to present them as "let's play a game" and not "it's time to learn". There are many you can look at together in stores and online. Make some of your own from ideas you get.

Best of all, read to her daily... and let her "read" to you. Go to the library, book store, or garage sales to shop for books. If there is a story hour at the library, take advantage of it. Depending on where she is now, look for books with just several words on each page. Repetition is key at this stage so expect to read some favorites over and over. You can take turns "reading" to each other. You read a page, then she reads a page. Talk about what is happening in the pictures. Developing a love of books and "reading" will be a foundation that will provide her with a tremendous advantage as she grows.


Formal education will come soon enough, and she will have many years of it. Now is the time to focus on a wide variety of experiences and learning more through play and activities.

[Fr_Chuck]

A four year old can melt down for any or no reason. Sit down and ask them for ideas to help make it fun

[londongirl111]

A 4 year old's attention span is not very long especially if they are rote learning and reciting stuff. She will cry like others have said if she is bored or feeling stressed. Try some of these ideas:

1. There is a programme called letterland, there is computer software that you can buy and story books, these are fun and will help her remember her phonics, she won't even know she is learning because it is a game to her. Another website which is free is Learn to Read with phonics, another great way to learn her phonics.

2. With Flashcard I always play this game with the kids that I tutor, it can be adjusted for different age groups, cut up the alphabet or phonetic letters and place them face down on the table, have her choose a card and say the sound, if she gets it correct, she keeps the card, if she gets it wrong you take the card at the end count the amount of cards each person has and the one with the most wins. My kids love it and want to play it over and over again.

3. play I-spy with her.

If you want some more ideas, let me know, am happy to help. I teach this age group and have lots of ideas. I would recommend you only do about 15 minutes of work with her at a time, if you can see she is losing interest then leave it and come back to it later.

Hope this helps
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