[Theman12]

We've been dating since December and I consider very special to me, she says she does and reminds me how much she loves me as I do to her each day.

About the beginning a June, we begin to argue a little, and after graduation around July ,I feel like she is acting differently. All through our relationship she had secrets from me about drinking, weed, or her X. It made me miserable.

Now she kisses a girl at the girls farewell party, and tells me a week and some days after, telling it was good and she like it. She doesn't believe that it's cheating, and that cheating is only another sex or sleeping with your sex.

So I am very upset, and shocked, and am considering the fact of breaking up, but don't believe I should because I love her so much. She's telling me that she doesn't know what to do and she wants to have fun and experiment too but I consider her cheating terrible, and won't stand for it.

She wants me but she wants fun too. Should I forget about it cause it's only a girl? The next time she does that dump her on the spot? Should I dump her now? Is this normal will she be with me and I can live happy? What's the best option I thought it through and it hurts so much cause I don't want to lose her but I don't want to be cheated on... help me!

I don't need people telling me it's hot so it's okay.
Thank you for your time.

[martinizing2]

I believe cheating is cheating. With the opposite sex or the same sex.
When you have made a commitment to a person to be exclusive , it includes both genders.

And it most certainly is not hot when it is destroying your life and relationship.

I would tell her that it DOES matter even if it is another girl. And if she intends to continue doing it , it will be without me.
And if she continued I would break up and never talk to her again. She is trying to have her cake and eat it too. At your expense. Do not allow this to strip you of your pride and dignity by letting it go on because as sure as the sun rises every morning that is what it will lead to.

Find out what her intentions are now, and act on them now. And if it involves breaking up be ready for it to be painful because it will be. But it will only get worse as time goes on.

Stand up to her and let her know in no uncertain terms that you will go if that behavior continues. And do it.

I wish you well and the strength to do whatever it is you need to do.

[Jake2008]

I kiss people, men, other women, children, complete strangers, and 'peck' people in receiving lines at funerals.

Not one kiss sticks out in my mind as having any meaning whatsoever, other than a harmless gesture of comfort toward another.

What's the big deal about a kiss. Nothing.

Where it becomes a problem is that it has brought to the forefront, your girlfriends' desire to experiment more, in a sexual sense, with same sex. So what. She's entitled to that. She is also not under any sort of commitment not to, and the two of you aren't married, living together, otherwise engaged, or exclusively belonging to each other forever.

These decisions are up to her, not you. You cannot change another's thinking or behaviour no matter how much you love someone. Shmuck happens, you learn new things about your parner every day.

At least she is being honest. It is also not her responsibility to prove to you that she can, and will change- just to suit you, or make you feel better, or carry on a relationship, just because you want her to. Love has nothing to do with this- it is cold, hard facts.

She is who she is, even if she doesn't know who she is, and lives in the free world where she need not answer to anybody for any reason.

The problem here for you, is whether you have the maturity and/or tolerance or are willing to allow for the possibility that she may be heading in a direction you are not comfortable with, and cannot cope with.

This is about how you react to what she has told you, and what you are going to do for yourself. The relationship changed, or was changing long before she simply kissed a girl. I suspect it has been coming for a long, long time.

Your life- your call.

[talaniman]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jake2008 again.

If you can't handle her honesty, then you have no business with her as a couple can talk and reach a conclusion as to how they will proceed with the relationship, and you both can make boundaries of good behavior. If you can't, what's the point in being together?

[Shadowburn]

My first thought was - he must be dating Katy Perry:) But seriously, any sexual activity outside of the relationship is cheating. So was it another girl or not is irrelevant, because next time it could be a guy or maybe be both. She has to sort things out for herself and see on what side she wants to be, but meanwhile, you don't really have to stick around and torture yourself. If I were you, I'd let her go.
Good luck.

[hidden123]

She didn't do anything wrong - as it's up to her what she does. And she didn't keep it a secret from you - you should respect that.

You have to figure out what you can/can not deal with. If you feel that this is cheating on you - tell her. But one thing for sure - you have nothing to be angry at her for.

[Riot]

I think its more the fact his girlfriend did this and said she enjoyed the contact or whatever with another person while she's already committed to this guy and then goes "oh i still want to be with you, even though i enjoyed the interaction with someone else"

Peoples degree of what's OK and not OK in a relationship can range very wide, and it seems these two are on the opposite ends of the rope