[lovenee]

{MOVED from Piggyback}

I 'm the one be like you my husband does't wish to have sex with me say say he want but the way he do it play with himself and get to bed next to me .maby we have sex in 10 mint and 2 time a month and he play with himself it 6 time a month .I Asian lady and look good.please tell me how I can do?

[CravenMorhead]

Talk to him? Ask him, in a non-confrontational manner, what is going on. There has to be a reason. Are you initiating at all?

He only plays with himself six times a month? Hhhmmm. Has he been checked out by a doctor?

Could it be that he has a significantly lower libido than yours?

Either way you need to talk to him and find out what is going on.

[jmjoseph]

He only plays with himself 6 times a month THAT YOU KNOW OF.

Try talking to him and let him know how you feel.

[lovenee]

Yes I talk to him a about my feeling and he say .I will try to not play with myself.I say OK.but he can't stop to play and he have some guy to sand sms with him every day and many time .I don't know he say just frined but that guy he have wife also.I don't know they are GAY?

[Cat1864]

.I dont know they are GAY?

Only he can answer that question.

Let's see if more background information might help:

How old are both of you and how long have you been married?

Has this been an issue since the beginning of your marriage or is it a recent development?

When was the last time he had a check-up? Is he on any medications?

How is the rest of your relationship?

[kp2171]

I understand and respect that different cultures have different traditions and angles and nuances.

But... you are strong enough to sign on here and to ask for help... I personally don't have a problem with a lover who pleasures herself manually when tied to sex... honestly, the best sex I've had has been with a woman who was willing to self stimulate herself to orgasm... not always... but not afraid to do this.

So... do I think its wrong for a man to self stimulate next to a lover? no. done this myself, with a lover biting at my ears or neck. Its quite intense.

But its not what I want all the time... not at all... and your post seems to impress the idea that he is only interested in himself... that he doesn't spend any time on you?

If that's the case... I don't care about cultural respect... one of the most powerful things about sex is pleasuring your lover. It isn't all there is. There should be some give and take. You should focus on him and he should focus on you.

Now... how to "make him" focus on you... this isn't an easy question to answer, outside of telling you to demand what you want and what you need.

In the end.. you cannot make him be anything he isn't. You can't make him focus on your needs if he just doesn't care. But you can give him the chance to understand you.

Tell him what you would like. Tell him what you need. Anytime any lover of mine ever said "i want this..." I listened. It was important to me to hear about her needs... because that also fed into mine.

Culturally, this might not be reasonable. I don't care. Demand the respect you need.