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ulienhard · Jul 19, 2010, 09:59 PM

I am unemployed and no longer can recive unemployment benefits. I just found out that my ex girlfriends new born baby is mine. She deceived me by going off birth control. We have been about for 7 months or so with no con tact from me. Our relationship was very rocky. We constantly nfought and I had to look into a restraning order because she was constantly harassing me via phone, texts and even leaving notes on my car when she found out where I moved to. I cannot have any relationship with her and as hard as it is, I wish to sign my rights away. Would I still be responsible for the child by paying child support? Thank you for your in put in advance.

Wondergirl · Jul 19, 2010, 10:29 PM

Yes, you would, if the baby is truly yours. Did a DNA test prove that?

Synnen · Jul 20, 2010, 05:09 AM

If you didn't want kids, then you should have worn a condom. Deceived or not, that was YOUR side of the responsibility.

No court in the world is going to let you sign away your rights to get out of child support. Parental rights and parental responsibility are two different things.

And--as a taxpayer--I don't want to pay for a kid that YOU helped create by not keeping your pants on. YOU are 50% responsible for that child, and I suggest you step up and do your share of providing for him/her. *I* don't want to pay for *your* kid.

ulienhard · Jul 20, 2010, 03:42 PM

I am unemployed and no longer can receive unemployment benefits. The baby was recently born by a woman that tricked me by going off birth control. We have not been together during pregnancy. We do not and have not had feelings for each other and had a terrible relationship. I cannot take on the financial responsibility nor can I see us having any friendly communications in the future.please advise. Thank you

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 20, 2010, 03:47 PM

You made a baby with her. You are responsible for this child. It's not always so easy to sign over rights, is there a father that can adopt so that you can turn your rights over to him? It's BOTH parties responsibility to have protected sex. If you didn't wear a condom, you should know that there's a possibility of her getting pregnant.

cdad · Jul 20, 2010, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by ulienhard

i am unemployed and no longer can receive unemployment benifits. the baby was recently born by a woman that tricked me by going off birth control. we have not been together during pregnancy. we do not and have not had feelings for eachother and had a terrible relationship. i cannot take on the financial responsibility nor can i see us having any freindly communications in the future.please advise. thank you

Please stop posting your question more then one time. If you didn't like the answer the first time its not going to change. If this was moved then please restrict your question to a single forum unless you have a different question

{ Threads Merged

ulienhard · Jul 20, 2010, 03:56 PM

Taking dna soon and we are not married. So I can only hope the child is ot mine.for she has informed me she just wants support and not let me see child.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 20, 2010, 04:00 PM

If you are the parent and are not a threat to the safety of the child you have every right to see your child and she has no right to take that from you. If the DNA test proves you are the father, go to court, get visitation/custody and pay support. Take this as a lesson learned and protect yourself from now on.

You being married to her or not plays no role in this.

Synnen · Jul 20, 2010, 04:31 PM

You can always try filing for full physical custody so that she has to pay YOU support--but that probably won't happen.

It's a hard way to learn that you shouldn't have sex with anyone you don't want to be linked to for the rest of your life.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 20, 2010, 04:34 PM

Synnen, why would you say that probably won't happen?

Synnen · Jul 20, 2010, 04:36 PM

Because if BOTH parents want full physical custody, the courts generally give each partial custody.

I don't see him proving the mother to be a danger to the child (practically the only way most courts will remove a child from a mother completely), so they will BOTH want custody.

In that case, they're both more likely to each get partial custody.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 20, 2010, 04:38 PM

I'm glad you used words such as "generally"... My boyfriend has a 10-year-old daughter. Her mother wanted custody and so did he. He won and still has full custody. But he was able to prove the mother was a risk to the child. And still is.

cdad · Jul 20, 2010, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

I'm glad you used words such as "generally"....My boyfriend has a 10-year-old daughter. Her mother wanted custody and so did he. He won and still has full custody. But he was able to prove the mother was a risk to the child. And still is.

There is a certain bias in the courts and from what Ive heard it is getting better but in general the fathers of children have to walk further over the coals for custody then most mothers do. So its logical to say that if the mom isn't a danger (risk) to the child then more then likely they will have the lions share of custody until the father proves himself.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 20, 2010, 04:54 PM

It does depend a lot on the state, the court and the individual circumstances of both parents.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 20, 2010, 04:58 PM

You don't have to have any relationship with the mother. But you should have a relationship with your child, if it is yours.
And you can not as told just sign over any rights.

You will respond to the child support motion, and then file for visits. She can not stop you, once you get a visitation order

ScottGem · Jul 20, 2010, 07:22 PM

I'm not sure where you got the idea that you could just sign away your rights and responsibilities to a child you helped create. From previous answers it would appear you have now been disabused of that notion.

I have said many times that no one should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are prepared to have a child. No method of birth control is 100%. 'not clear whether your girlfriend admitted to going off the pill or you are just assuming she did. But that's immaterial. If you did father that child (and you don't do anything until a paternity test comes back positive) then you have a responsibility towards that child. You can ignore the child if you wish or you can become a part of its life (despite the mother's objections, you have that right). A court will hold you responsible for support, but that support will be, at least partially, based on your ability to pay.

So you wait for the child to be born, then either file for custody or wait for her to file for support. Get the court to order a paternity test.