[lenorec]

I am a 50 year old female, reasonably attractive and fit. I used to date a lot, been married twice, now a widow... but over the past few years I am finding it more and more difficult to accept a date from a man. I believe it boils down to being afraid. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life, I'm missing out on enjoying the opposite sex, however the fear keeps me to myself. I have male and female friends, that is fine, just the possibiity of dating scares me... I'm so different than before, why?

[redhed35]

Before you put your heart on the line and your were ready to commit,now that your older,your perspective is a little different,and perhaps the stakes are a little higher.

The first step to overcoming any fear is trying to find out why your afraid.

Were your other relationships successful?

Are you afraid of getting close to someone else,maybe getting to the point where to have to share your story.

I know for me,that was a barrier,the thoughts of telling 'my' story and putting myself out there was terrifing.

But I did,and it paid off.

Granted the men had changed,and my bar was a little higher.

Perhaps start small,instead of a date how about just friends,or a male companion,just going for a coffee.

You don't need to commit to anything until your sure.

Focus on enjoying yourself and being with friends, being a happy you and content can be very satisfing as well.

[talaniman]

Maybe you have changed a lot, and grown a lot, and no longer want to get to far from the comfort zone you have built for yourself.

I also think older people see taking a risk in different ways than when we were younger. I don't think its as much fear as a changing attitude, and point of view that makes you cautious, and not given to being carried away by curiosity, neediness, or impulses as young people tend to do.

That's a lot different than just being afraid. Jumping into the unknown, is enough to make any one with sense and maturity somewhat afraid, but as long as its not paralyzing fear, then its okay to be nervous with a bit of APPREHENSION.

Or maybe you just don't want to date, but want a special guy??

[I wish]

As the others have pointed out, it sounds like you have a specific type of guy in mind, but you just haven't met the right one.

Check out this sticky: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/person...ou-452857.html

It sounds like you want something, but you can't find it. In that case, just keep looking. Keep on meeting new people and see where that leads.

[positiveparent]

Hi OP have you considered going on a double date if youre not happy about going on a date alone.

I would guess that since you last were into the dating scene things have changed slightly, but its like riding a bike you dont forget,

if you dont want to go out on a physical date why not invite a male friend you might find compatible to come to your home.

Perhaps all you need to do is get involved in your local community more, go to bingo, or join a bridge club or cribbage, something along these lines, wouldnt be hard to get involved in.

Anyway I hope you are able to make use of the suggestions in this post. Good Luck.