[irisheyez873]

My daughter is 7 1/2. Her father left us when she was 2. Even before that he was never home. I have primary custody with him having partial custody. He has not called or shown up since February, it's now July. He has not taken her for hia weekly dinner or every other weekend visits in over 5 months. He has been in contempt of several court orders by refusing to sign consent forms for her medical treatent for 7 months now. He claims to be unemployed but the PA courts show no proof. He hasn't paid his court ordered child support all year. He is neglectful, emotionally damaging to her, breaking every court ordered rule we have. Do I have a good chance at getting complete full custody of my daughter?? And could I possibly fight to have his parental rights revoked because his uncooperation & neglect?

[cdad]

Its sounds like you already have full custody. And no you can't have his rights revoked. You made a choice to make a baby with this person. Now you have to deal with it. What are they doing about the arrears?

[irisheyez873]

Excuse Me???? You have no clue what my story is or What you're talking about!!! Of course you're a man & couldn't possibly understand where a single mom is coming from! Next time try being less crass!
But, thanks you've been ever so helpful.

[excon]

Hello I:

I'm a man too. I didn't see anything that dad said that was offensive or untrue. It just wasn't what you wanted to hear. No wonder that guy split.

excon

[cdad]

Excuse Me???? You have no clue what my story is or What you're talking about!!! Of course you're a man & couldn't possibly understand where a single mom is coming from! Next time try being less crass!
But, thanks you've been ever so helpful.

You need to read this. We don't quote what you want to hear we quote the law.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-116098.html

[ScottGem]

Yes, you have a good chance of getting full custody. If he has been preventing her from getting needed medical care because of joint legal custody. I believe a court will give you full custody to prevent that.

But as to getting his rights revoked, that is highly unlikely. Essentially he is not using his rights so how would revoking them change things? There is a sticky note at the top of this forum that deals with the issue of terminating rights. May I suggest you review it.

Now I have to comment on your reaction to your first response. I do understand how difficult it has been to raise your child without the father's help. But, at some point you did have a relationship with him. You had sex with him which means you were prepared to have a child with him. Whatever the rest of your story that is an obvious fact. Unless you were raped, which doesn't appear to be the case, that was a choice you made and know you and your daughter have to live with that choice. That doesn't mean the father is not at fault here. He made the same choice and now he is reneging on his responsibilities from that choice. But the law prevents those rights and responsibilities from being taken way just because he reneges on them.

[Fr_Chuck]

The issue is wording, in most fact you have "full custody" and he has visitation. You want his visits taken away. That is something that most likely will not happen. You may get it where he does not have to approve medical care.

In most states, merely not visiting and not paying is any reason to take any rights away. His refusing to allow medical care is the only real thing you have.

You can of course take him to court for not paying but not for not visiting, you can not force someone to visit

[irisheyez873]

Thanks Scott. Your comment was somewhat helpful. I appreciate your tact as well. To the others, well I think you know what I think of your comments. Let me elaborate on my situation so maybe you can wrap your heads around it.... I was married to man I loved very much & together we decided to have a child. Immediately after I got pregnant, his mother died. His world changed. He became a different person, completely. Worked out of state, spent maybe 5 hrs a week at home. And that was by his choice. He never cared for his daughter. He left one morning never to come back when she was 2. He decided he couldn't handle marriage or a family & deserted us. He has become vindictive, evil, neglectful & violent.My daughter by her own decision, wants nothing to do with him. So, please don't lump me into the group of women who get knocked up by losers & then complaign when they don't stick around. I couldn't possibly have seen into the future nor did I want my marriage to end. I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me. All I want is to protect my daughter & give her the best life I possibly can.

[irisheyez873]

Apparently there's confusion in the custody issue here. I have primary physical custody & he has partial physical custody. That's how they word it in PA. And, we don't want him to visit. And, if I could get full custody I'd be willing to give up the few dollars of support that he doesn't even pay. I understand that I guess I can't revoke his rights. Fine. What I want is to have full custody & not need his approval for decisions, medical or otherwise. He can have visitation, but he won't use it and that's fine with us.

[cdad]

Apparently there's confusion in the custody issue here. I have primary physical custody & he has partial physical custody. That's how they word it in PA. And, we don't want him to visit. And, if I could get full custody I'd be willing to give up the few dollars of support that he doesn't even pay. I understand that I guess I can't revoke his rights. Fine. What I want is to have full custody & not need his approval for decisions, medical or otherwise. He can have visitation, but he won't use it and that's fine with us.

I think you're a bit confused. And Im going to try to straighten it out for you. As far as the physical custody goes. You already stated that. And from what I can tell you have 50/50 legal custody. That's the other side of things for decisions etc. But try to understand that unless your court orders say you must have his permission to do things. The rest is opinion. You don't need for the both of you to sign everything 50/50. So if your seeking medical care for your child. You can sign for what you want and there really is nothing from preventing it from happening. On the other hand if its about who has the insurance. You can go to court and have the courts force him to give you the medical card for the child. If that is the focus of the problem. Otherwise your free to decide things. Only one legal parents signature is needed for most things including schools etc.

[ScottGem]

I think you are reading too much in our responses. You are assuming we are assuming that you didn't have good reasons to have a child with this man. I don't think we made that assumption. But just as this man has radically changed from the man you married, there is the possibility he will change back.

But the main issue is what the law says and it says he is the father and has rights that are very hard to take away.

[irisheyez873]

Wrong! My daughter needs counseling/therapy for several reasons. One being the emotional damage he's caused. The court ordered therapy on several occasions. But, he has to sign off on approval of the dr. He has been in contempt 3 times now for not responding, not returning forms & just not agreeing. I've been a nurse for 15 years & would never subject my child to unnessecary treatment. Delaying needed medical treatment is neglect in my opinion. And that's exactly what he's doing. I've followed every rule of the court and he has disregarded everyone of them. This ridiculous battle has been going on for 5 years. Enough already. I just want what's best-total custody. I don't think that's too much to ask for.
Thanks for all your info.

[excon]

I don't think that's too much to ask for.

Hello again, I:

I repeat. You wanted us to agree with you. We didn't. You didn't like it.

excon