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DAUNTLESS · Jul 15, 2010, 10:14 AM

I am 25 years old. I love to be a loner. I am interested in doing MBA and never thought about marriage. But now a girl (also 25 years old) has impressed me. She wants to marry me. That too as soon as soon possible. I am confused which way to go. I don't know what to do.

She is not the girl I have mentioned earlier. This girl is my childhood friend. I know her for 10 years. She has been in love with me ever since. Though she makes me feel comfortable and I like her, I would hesitate to say that I love her (though I guess I do) because I am still confused about marriage. But her parents are keen about getting her married soon.(we live in india!). This puts pressure on my original plans.

Kitkat22 · Jul 15, 2010, 10:27 AM

What does your heart tell you?

redhed35 · Jul 15, 2010, 10:49 AM

How long have you known her?

What would be your reasoning for not doing both?

Why is she so keen to get married?

Edit: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-453266.html

Is this the same girl,or a different one?

Kitkat22 · Jul 15, 2010, 11:13 AM

If this isn't the same girl... hold off. Rebound romances rarely work.

positiveparent · Jul 15, 2010, 12:32 PM

Tell her what you've told us, and if you don't want that for yourself also tell her that as well, don't get bamboozled into something you're not sure you even want that's a recipe for disaster, you are to live your life for you no one else. Tell the girl to back off it its not what you want.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 15, 2010, 12:35 PM

If you don't love her, if you are feeling confused, I'm thinking "no, don't marry her.
How long have you known her?

Kitkat22 · Jul 15, 2010, 01:52 PM

Is the same girl in your other thread?

Devorameira · Jul 15, 2010, 02:04 PM

Don't rush into anything, especially if you're the "rebound" guy.

I noticed that you only said that she "impressed you", but you never once said that you loved her or that you wanted to marry her.

In a healthly relationship communication should be open. Why not just explain to her that you want to complete you MBA before you get married. IF you truly want to marry her, then suggest to her that you get engaged now, but not have a wedding until after graduation.

talaniman · Jul 15, 2010, 06:33 PM

Impressed for now doesn't mean get married. That's a life changing choice that requires a lot of time and thought. If she can't wait until you know more about each other, much, much, much more.

DAUNTLESS · Jul 15, 2010, 09:42 PM

She is not the girl I have mentioned earlier. This girl is my childhood friend. I know her for 10 years. Though she makes me feel comfortable, I would hesitate to say that I love her (though I guess I do) because I am still confused about marriage.

Kitkat22 · Jul 15, 2010, 09:47 PM

Originally Posted by DAUNTLESS

she is not the girl i have mentioned earlier. this girl is my childhood friend. i know her for 10 years. though she makes me feel comfortable, i would hesitate to say that i love her (though i guess i do) because i am still confused about marriage.

You just answered your own question. If you're confused and she makes you "feel comfortable" and you hesitate. To say you love her"... then no, you are not ready to marry her.

talaniman · Jul 16, 2010, 05:35 AM

Knowing some one for 10 years may get her foot in the door, but relationships and marriages changes things into something so totally different than a friendship. No matter how long you have been friends, its different than being lovers.

Tread very carefully my friend, you're in some dangerous waters.

Kitkat22 · Jul 16, 2010, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Knowing some one for 10 years may get her foot in the door, but relationships and marriages changes things into something so totally different than a friendship. No matter how long you have been friends, its different than being lovers.

Tread very carefully my friend, your in some dangerous waters.

I couldn't have said it better. Take this advice... marriage is hard and if you don't love someone I think it would be intolerable. Rebound romances do not work.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 16, 2010, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by DAUNTLESS

she is not the girl i have mentioned earlier. this girl is my childhood friend. i know her for 10 years. though she makes me feel comfortable, i would hesitate to say that i love her (though i guess i do) because i am still confused about marriage.

Then you don't need to marry her. The love you feel for a friend is not necessarily conducive to loving that person as a spouse.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you will have enough problems without going into it knowing you don't love the lady.
Do you. Finish your education, get your head on straight after this last lady. Tell your friend that now is not the time and the feelngs are not there.

loner4life · Sep 14, 2012, 07:13 AM

Wow! I am in a similar situation...
I loved a girl even since I was a 12 and I become a loner because she left the country. I told her my feelings when I was 17 and the turn me down and now I am still a loner and dude I also have no plans to get married in life. Loner for Life!
And yes I am also from India.
PS: I don't know how much you believe in jyotish/kundli but I do and I seen my kundli and it appears that I may have a chance of divorce or 2 marriages in my life. Therefore the best way to avoid this is to be a LONER FOR LIFE!!