[emma154]

All lads break up with me for no reason and I don't think I will meet anyone else how do you meet lads

[Makiavelic76]

Can you be more specific so we can help you better... :0

[emma154]

Well my ex broke up with me and I still love him and we been textin but he says he likes been on his own and when he single he only has 2 care about himself. I don't understand men and I don't seem to be able 2 meet any decent lads

[J_9]

How old are you Emma?

[emma154]

I'm 20 neally 21

Wenever I get with a lad they are really nice and all lovey lovey then just dump me and don't giv me a proper reason I am never horrible to them

[J_9]

Well, are you needy? Do you get into bed with them right away? Do you suffocate them?

There are 3 reasons there why men leave women and visa versa

[emma154]

Well no I give them space don't tex all day till they tex me. I used to go bed before my ex or just after him sometimes.

[J_9]

I mean do you have sex with them right when you meet them?

Please provide more information and we can go from there. But this question and answer session is really getting us nowhere.

Oh, yes, please type in correct english so us older folks can understand you.

[emma154]

Sorry. Me and my ex was together for a year and we lived together for 2 months he was always on about not having any feeling for anyone then he broke up with me for no reason so I moved out we have been broken up for 5 months and I text him 2 weeks ago asking how he was he text me back asking if I wanted to meet him I met him the following week and we watched a dvd and it was just like old times we both said we had a great time when I got home I text and told him I couldn't see him again as I realised I still loved him and didn't want to mess my head up he told me that he wanted to see me again but didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone as he doesn't like to think or worry about any one else.

No I never used to sleep with him straight away, he didn't have a very high sex drive so we didn't do it a lot he is 28

I don't sleep with men straight away I wait as don't like been used

[Geoffersonairplane]

There are nice guys and there are jerks..

There are genuine people and then there are users.

Maybe you are choosing the wrong kind of man. You need to find a loyal person who is willing to work on a healthy relationship with you which is mutual based on love, trust and understanding all backed up by good communication.

It sounds like the last guy was only interested in looking after himself.. and this is fine, I mean, he has been honest with you..

Honesty is a good quality in a human being. There is nothing wrong with him wanting to be single but he does not seem like relationship material.

If it is a relationship you want, then you need to find someone who likewise knows what they want and why they want it. They basically need to understand who they are...
Relationships are real hard work and without sounding patronizing in any way at all, may I ask if you are ready for a Serious Relationship at the moment?

Also if you are the needy type who needs to be around her man 24/7, this will likely push him away..

[emma154]

I'm not a needy person I enjoy been alone and I like been with someone, I really want a serious relationship I don't no why I just feel happier and complete

[Geoffersonairplane]

im not a needy person i enjoy been alone and i like been with someone, i really want a serious relationship i dont no why i just feel happier and complete

This is exactly why I asked if you think you are ready..

Think about it.. You should not NEED a serious relationship or any relationship for that matter to feel complete.

You should be complete whether you are with someone or not.

What you must do is fill your life with things that make you complete, and find out who you are, what you want from life and from others and once you are complete and healthy as an individual, then you will be able to add a relationship on top of that.

Is it just a relationship you want with anyone that will stand by your side just for the sake of that safety blanket or will you choose who is right for you?

[chuff]

im not a needy person i enjoy been alone and i like been with someone, i really want a serious relationship i dont no why i just feel happier and complete

This is a common mistake. You can't want your way into a serious relationship. You must let it develop into one. You feel happier and complete because there is something missing in you life right now. The relationship is just filler for whatever is missing.

A relationship should be two people sharing there likes, interests, and time but not at the expense of yourself. As Wildcat says, the other person is part of your life. Not your whole life. You've got to fill your life up with your own interests and then CHOOSE to share it with someone.

[talaniman]

Call me old fashioned, but being single is about having fun and doing whatever you want. For the life of me I don't see how any one would stop dating because you met someone yesterday, and today your exclusive, and when it doesn't work your lost. I think the key is to date many people and have a great time, and if you want to check someone special out and get to know them, then you can be exclusive. But until then the party should be on. So miss emma, how about forget the g/f-b/f stuff and just have fun with a variety, and build a life you are enjoying, and see if not only will your stock rise, you will enjoy every minute. It is so wrong to need a relationship with some stranger to make one happy. It is the relationship with yourself that will makes you happy.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Great point tal,

It is important to remember that you do have a guaranteed life-long relationship. That one is with yourself.

If that relationship is unhealthy then how can an external one be healthy.

You need to learn to love yourself before others will love you!