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New Member
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Jul 12, 2010, 09:35 PM
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When is a good age to tell a child about their biological parent?
When is a good age to tell a child about their biological parent?
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Jul 12, 2010, 09:42 PM
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Mother or father? Missing permanently or temporarily? Is there the possibility of contact now or later?
The sooner you tell the child about a bio-parent, the better it will be for everyone. Then there are no secrets to keep.
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Expert
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Jul 12, 2010, 10:38 PM
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The best time is from the date of adoption. If the child grows up knowing they are adopted they have a lesser reaction than if you tell them in their childhood, teens or adults.
My in-laws have all adopted children, they knew from the get go that they were adopted.
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New Member
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Jul 13, 2010, 01:38 PM
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Comment on Wondergirl's post
My husband and I are currently going threw court for the adoption of my youngest daughter!
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New Member
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Jul 13, 2010, 01:40 PM
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Comment on J_9's post
Do you think it was the best thing for them to know early in life? No confusion? Did they ask a lot of questions? Did they want to meet there biological parents?
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Expert
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Jul 13, 2010, 05:12 PM
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Yes, it was the best thing for all 3 of them. No confusion at all because they grew up believing this was the norm for many people.
Did they ask a lot of questions? No, not at all.
Did they want to meet their parents? Only one of them wanted to. My sister-in-law. When she finally found her birth mother she was devastated to learn that the woman did not want any contact whatsoever. Even went so far as to say that she didn't want her in her life then and still does not want her in her life.
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Expert
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Jul 13, 2010, 06:03 PM
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As a person who is adopted ( fully) the best time is from birth, they should be aware of course they had a dad but he is not able to be around, ( for younger ones) ( then that some moms and dads are not able to live together, but that you are there for them) and then older just the truth.
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New Member
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Jul 18, 2010, 04:17 PM
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Start younger, I have adopted little brother. And when he was little my mom always talkd to him about kids being adopted. He didn't fully understand he always keepd asking, I was in your belly right . And my mom would say no, you was in my friends belly. And he's a different race, so he'd always think he was different because he ate m&ms cause there darker.
But now he's 8 and he understand , and he knows his mom and dad loved him , but couldn't raise him. So be truthfully and start younger. Your kids will understand (:
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New Member
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Aug 8, 2010, 09:07 PM
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I agree you should let them know from the start. My biological mother had 6 kids, 3 she gave away and 3 she kept. My sister she gave away knew from the start she was adopted and had no traumatic experience of finding out. My brother that was given away found out in his teens and has a hard time forgiving our bio mother and a hard time talking to his bio brothers and sisters (us). I found out by accident when I was in Kindergarten and it was very traumatic. My mom said that for years I'd constantly ask if she loved me still and if they were tired of taking care of me yet. I honestly don't remember asking those questions but I do remember feeling scared and feeling like I had to be perfect so that I wouldn't be given away. My story is a lot more complicated, there's more twists and turns. So I'd suggest you let them know as young as possible, then again all children react differently. You never know if at 18 your child will be capable to understand and cope with the truth, so it's your call. Good luck hun!
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