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abhishek0287 · Jul 12, 2010, 03:02 AM

My girlfrnd just broke up with me. I am so sad and I feel so lonely out here. I just want her back in my life. Most suggestions which I get is ignore her but she is my class mate. I want that she misses me badly but I don know how to do it. She says there are bleak chances that something can happen in future but I don know what to do? I can't stay without her even for a day. Then I check her phn and find her texting other guys and when I ask her she says they are just friends?? I don know what to do? I can't keep on crying all day.

Curlyben · Jul 12, 2010, 03:32 AM

Give up and move on!

talaniman · Jul 12, 2010, 05:02 AM

Sounds like it really is over to me so when your finished crying, leave her alone and find other things to do besides stalk her on the social network.

Starry nights · Jul 12, 2010, 07:06 AM

What can be sadder than the fact that after she's told you to move on,you are still hurting yourself,your innermost self,your soul,cry over someone who isn't even thinking about you?

Why are you so willing to cry for her and not for your poor soul which is hurting more?Right now,you should be looking after yourself,nursing yourself,healing,recovering from all the bruises you've got,all the pent-up hurt and tears.Then,when all the pain stops,you should be putting this behind you and moving ahead.With courage,confidence and maturity.

As Talaniman said,find other things to do,that would help you grow,become successful and happy in life.Thats what you should be doing.

I wish · Jul 12, 2010, 07:18 AM

You might want her back very badly. But if she doesn't want you back, then you can't force her to. Accept and respect her decision and do your best to move on with your life.

Easier said that done, but some things are out of your control, such as her feelings. But other things are well in your control, such as your ability to handle a break up.

Kitkat22 · Jul 12, 2010, 07:23 AM

She doesn't want you back. Stop crying over her and go on. Girls do not like guys who are whiny and weak and needy.

Girls do not want a guy who will do anything they ask.

Girls do not like guys who keep hanging around when they have broken up and they DO NOT like a guy snooping.

Get over her and move on.

hunnypooh97 · Jul 12, 2010, 08:00 AM

Agreed!

hidden123 · Jul 12, 2010, 08:32 AM

You need to leave he alone... when she sees you ignoring her - she will almost definitely try to get your attention back..

I know this is very hard - but you really are making the situation even worse by showing her how needy you are.. it's always a turn off for both men and women.. stay strong..

Kitkat22 · Jul 12, 2010, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by hidden123

You need to leave he alone... when she sees you ignoring her - she will almost definitely try to get your attention back..

I know this is very hard - but you really are making the situation even worse by showing her how needy you are.. it's always a turn off for both men and women.. stay strong..

Good advcie and good post.:)

abhishek0287 · Jul 12, 2010, 10:36 AM

Thanks a lot to all of you for your valuable suggestion. But the thing is that she doesn't even leave me alone. She keeps texting me and calling me and ask me to sit next to her in class. I think she still loves me she just need some time. Or she is just using me to get over her pain. I have already told her that I just can't be her friend. She was my best friend before we got into this relationship for one and a half years. I will try acting cool from today. But its really not possible to ignore her completely.

hidden123 · Jul 12, 2010, 10:56 AM

Well.. this is definitely a difficult situation.. you need to talk to her and ask her to give you time to heal and therefore you need space... if she truly cares for you than she will respect that.. she knows she has this power over you now - and she is using it. You should not be yo-yoed like that.. it is very unfair of her to treat you so and you should keep that in mind. It will help you to take her off the pedestal you put her on (as we all do at some point with our significant others.. ) Let her see that although you care for her very much you have your own life.. go out with friends... don't be rude to her but don't let her push you around. Stand your ground... Stay strong..

abhishek0287 · Jul 12, 2010, 11:12 AM

Can't it be that she still loves me and she can't stay without me.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 12, 2010, 11:19 AM

She may love you as a friend, but she broke up with you remember?
Tell her to stop texting you because you need space to get over her.
Time to suck it up and move on.

abhishek0287 · Jul 12, 2010, 11:24 AM

But then she herself said that something is possible in future. What u think are the chances?

hidden123 · Jul 12, 2010, 11:25 AM

Well... I know you want to believe it.. and who knows - may be.. but than why is she breaking up with you? May be she needs to see weather or not she is IN LOVE with you still - but the only way she'll figure it out is if she will see that she can possibly lose you.. no matter how hard it is - you need to request some space and from her.. she will respect you more for it.. good luck..

In order for her to miss you - you can't constantly be available to her - you see?

abhishek0287 · Jul 12, 2010, 11:37 AM

If I leave her she will be alone in class... her friends have gone for a conference... I can see her suffering... she is very bold and if I tell her I am leaving she will agree but I know deep inside she will be left alone... I am scared to take such a step

talaniman · Jul 12, 2010, 11:58 AM

Harshness warning

She dumped you buddy, and that means you have to bow out gracefully and let her suffer. Not be a wimp who only wants attention for her. Wimps are not attractive nor can they be loved and respect. All a wimp has coming is PITY.

Man up, and act like a man who commands respect, not one that's punked out by the simple words of a female. Her words and actions don't match and the fact is your still DUMPED, kicked to the curb, while she is free to do her thing, and talk to you when she has nothing better to do.

Take the hint, and stop crying over someone that has kicked you to the curb.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 12, 2010, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by abhishek0287

If i leave her she will be alone in class.... her friends have gone for a conference.... i can see her suffering.... she is very bold and if i tell her i am leaving she will agree but i know deep inside she will be left alone.... i am scared to take such a step

She will be fine. She did dumped you remember?
Stop worrying about her feelings and take care of your own.
Break contact with her so that you can get over her. You'll probably be doing her a favor as well.

I wish · Jul 12, 2010, 01:30 PM

All you're doing now is overanalyzing all her actions. Twisting her actions and words into thinking that she still has feelings for you.

Bottom line: If she wanted to fix the relationship, you would be the first to know.

If she didn't let you know, then by process of elimination, she's not longer interested in reparing the relationship. If you don't believe, then confront her directly. Why are you making so many assumptions? If you want to know the truth of what's going on in her mind, then ask her.

The other posters are just trying to save you some grief and time by telling you what her answer will be. But the person who needs to most convincing at this point is you.

Lucky098 · Jul 12, 2010, 01:42 PM

Well.. first of all, crying and pining and showing her how miserable you are without her isn't going to get her back.

You need to accept the break up and move on. Allow yourself some reflection time about how wonderful your relationship was. Talk with friends and family again. Gain back your confidence. The more confident you are in yourself the more likely she is going to want to talk to you again.

Don't pester her. If she doesn't want to talk to you, then she doesn't want to talk to you. You're not going to change her mind. Act as if she was never in your life. Be happy. Women are attracted to strong, confident men who can accept changes in their lives. Crying yourself to sleep each night is difinately not going to get her back.

Allow her to be herself. SHe just broke up with her boyfriend too. I'm sure there are a lot of things going through her mind such as, "Did I make the right choice?"

Ignoring her completely will allow her to think as well. If she truly loves you, she will start talking to you. Let her make the first move. And if she never comes back, then I guess you two were not meant to be.

If you two talk, talk about things that are going on in the present. Don't ever bring up the past or why you both broke up. She, like you, doesn't want to relive the bad times. Always live in the moment. Show your "old" self again. Show her that you can have fun with being on talking terms.

Just keep in mind that if she is totally over you, there is nothing you can do to change her mind. But definitely a confidence boost will help you win her back.

But for now, give yourself time to heal. Don't talk to her. Avoid her at all costs. Like I said, if she loves you, she'll start talking to you first.