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badri_sri139 · Dec 14, 2006, 10:46 AM

I finally came to know the truth today after 2 years that she had ditched me 2 years earlier to be with another. I was under a different impression, but I got toknow for sure about it today!
I feel very bad and I don't know what to do? The pain is getting to me! I have dealt with many things and coped with situations. But this one has totally broken me!! :(

starsbooty · Dec 14, 2006, 11:10 AM

Even though this pain is real and I know it hurts, be glad that your not with her because, obviously, #1, she is a liar, #2, a "ho" because she got with your friend, #3, just some one that can not be trusted, and if she did it to you there's a pretty good chance she is going to do the same to your friend. All you can do now is move forward, and not worry about the past nor them, because to put it bluntly, they are not worried about you. And after 2 years, are you sad that you didn't know until now or still sad that you don't have her? Either way I don't think someone like yourself, who seems to be caring and sweet, should be thinking about someone who did you so wrong. Basically f*$! Her, and take care and love yourself! You're the only one who's happiness matters!

pumibel · Dec 15, 2006, 05:37 AM

I think you are probably shook up over the deceit from both your ex and your friend. Maybe it also hurts your pride- who likes to be duped like that? Have your moment of grief and anger and then go back to business as usual. You got over her 2 years ago (I hope) so why do this all over again? You lived through it the first time, so you know you are strong enough.

Starman · Dec 24, 2006, 05:37 PM

Is he your former friend now or was he your former friend before you found out or at the time that she ditched you? Apparently your friend didn't want to loose your friendship and so might not have told you because of it. Sometimes in life we are faced with a lose Vs lose situation and some solve the problem by hiding it. Suppose the girl would have broken up with you and then gone out with your friend and you had known about it from the outset, would that have made a difference? Or is it just the deceitful part that is the issue?

I once went out with a fellow rock band-member's former girlfriend immediately after they had broken up and he just couldn't forget about it. If I had to do it all over again I'd keep my distance in order to preserve the peace. But I was foolish then and plowed ahead. It was all out in the open though, no deceit involved. But that made absolutely no difference to him. Of course I should have found out how strong his feelings were for the girl beforehand. Instead I asumed it wasn't really any big deal.

As in your case, the friendship was lost and ultimately it led to my having to leave the group and, ironically, the girl as well.

BTW
What explanation did your friend give you if any?

badri_sri139 · Dec 25, 2006, 08:55 AM

He is a former friend from 2 years back when she ditched me to be with him! Actually she did not offer me any explanation! She did not even tell me that she is in a relationship with this guy! I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY WERE FRIENDS! COZ That's what I think they were when we all were together! When around 9 months ago I wanted to reform the friendship she was very rude and hurt me badly! Made me cry! I could not explain why was she being so rude! S o I kept on b;aming me for having left her in the first place and being a little rude to her! But I did not know she was in love with this guy! Only recently I came to know that they both are in relationship! Its funnny because she told me that she was not ready for it! Now s he is having with somebody! I know now that I was perfectly ditched!

badri_sri139 · Dec 30, 2006, 10:15 AM

Guys! Please suggest something for this disease!

pennybot · Jan 3, 2007, 07:56 PM

Hrm, not sure theres so much a 'disease' involved as there is alot of young naive people attempting relationships, making mistakes, cue the drama.

From just reading what you've posted,

worst case scenario: if she had a social disorder or 'disease' in which case, she's absolutely aware of what she's doing to others and the results and takes delight in the drama she's causing as the negative attention makes her feel alive. People are no longer people, they are extensions of herself and the moment they define themselves as apart form her, she discards them. She'll rinse herself of that new guy and repeat.. rinse, repeat.. etc. However, that's assuming a lot out of what little you posted about her. Though if this is the case, consider yourself lucky you're no longer involved with her. Real lucky.

Or maybe she is just very young and very stupid and completely oblivious to what she's doing to everyone around her. ( I have a hunch this is more likely it ) Which eventually she'll just have the same done to her or she'll mess it up bigtime - have some sort of epiphany that other people may have been affected the same way she was affected. Basically, the hurt doesn't exist until she experiences it first hand and then she can be capable of sympathy for those around her that she affected the same way.
Still, best leave her alone til she grows up a bit to the point she actually acknowledges the people around her as living things with feelings and wants to take responsibility of her own actions affecting that.

You're ex-buddy's disease is either horniness and/or coveting what you had. Considering her maturity, I doubt the relationship is going swimmingly and she or he will probably do something yet again, young and stupid, and mess it up.

You, you were blindsided. You got a broken heart and betrayed.
But take comfort in that time will heal it. Yes, you had two years to get over her but the new evidence kicked up a bit of hurt more over the betrayal. And neither of them considered your feelings at all.

Just remember you can't fix her and you can’t just ‘straighten him out’. They have their own growing up to do in that department.
The lesson for you here is just know that people are capable do this kind of thing regardless of who is on the other side of it. There are people who know better and just don't do it to people they genuinely like - you have to seek out those ones for the kind of relationship where you are considered.

manimuth · Jan 3, 2007, 08:03 PM

Being rejected or 'ditched' hurts and it hurts bad but remember that 'they' seem to have moved on with their lives and seem not to be suffering a morsel of the pain you are. So, why hurt over someone who is not losing any sleep over you. Cry, scream, rant, and rave all that pain out and move on asap. 'They' are not worth your thoughts and pain.