[ckvietok]

I've been dating this really cute, super sweet guy for almost 4 months and... he's really shy. REALLY shy. I feel like he listens to me but he usually only answers my questions with a yes or a no. How can I make him open up without being annoying?? I'm asking because I just thought he would be shy at first but he still is and I want to have a more interesting relationship with him! He liked me before we started going out, but I was the one that asked him out! I feel like I'm the one leading the relationship!:( thanks!

[positiveparent]

If he's shy then you'll need to be patient and allow him time to lose that shyness, if you push for more too soon, he will probably become even more insecure and shy.

Just take it slowly one day at a time help him lose his shyness by complimenting him letting him take the lead, he can't help being shy but if you push him he will go further into his shell. Be patient, and hell come around...

[I wish]

Maybe he's not a big talker.
Maybe he's not ready to open up to you.
Maybe he doesn't really have anything more to say than yes and no.
Maybe he can be 100 other different things.

The only way to find out is to ask him. Communication is key in a relationship.

[talaniman]

Maybe that's the way he is. After 4 months and you're still at yes or no, maybe that's as good as it gets.

But ask him directly what you want to know from him.

[ckvietok]

OK, I get what you guys are saying but how much longer do I have to wait? This relationship is getting boring but I would hate to hurt him by breaking up!

[I wish]

Are you sure you got what we were saying?

You don't need to wait, just talk to him about it NOW. See what he says and go from there.

If he says that it takes time to open up. Then decide if you want to wait. If he says that that's just the way he is. Then decide if you can accept him.

But we cannot read his mind. We have no idea what he's thinking. So you need to find out for yourself.

As for hurting him when breaking up. You're only hurting yourself by being with someone that you don't want. How does that make sense? So you wouldn't want to break up with him, because you are scared to hurt him? Doesn't that sound selfish? You don't want to look like the bad girl, so you hold off on breaking up. But in reality, you're making it worse by hanging on to him and not letting him move on with his life if you don't feel the same way about him.

[talaniman]

If you don't have the patience to be with a shy guy then you should leave and get someone who is more entertaining to you.

There is no shame to be incompatible, and foolish to think someone will change for you. He is who he is. Be who you are, and be honest, and fair about it.

[ckvietok]

To the user: "i wish"

OK, I get it now. But one more thing... what exactly should I ask him? Tell me the actual words! Thanks!

[talaniman]

"Why are you so boring, don't you like me?"

[Homegirl 50]

It could be that he does not like you but you are paying attention to him so he stays with you.
I could be that is the best you'll get from him and it id not enough for you.
So you say, "this in not working for me, lets call it quits."
You don't stay with someone to keep from hurting them. That is not kind. Soon you will resent him and treat him as such.

[ckvietok]

K guys thanks but I still need to point something out... I'm sure he likes me and I really like him. Its just I want him to be more open around me. That's it. And I take back what I said about not wanting to break up with him in fear of hurting him. And... talaniman, that's kind of a harsh thing to ask a guy that's really sweet! Any other suggestions for what I could say? Thanks! :)

[Homegirl 50]

You talk to him. Tell him you sometimes feels like he is uncomfortable with you because he does not talk to you. Ask him if he is. If he says he's comfortable then you have to decide if you like who he is him enough to stay with him.