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CJ0123 · Jul 3, 2010, 09:26 AM

Hey, I need some advice about this. My girlfriend of almost six months had told me that she wanted space and she needed time to find some missing piece within herself. The thing is things were going fine. Toward the middle of our relationship we did fight a lot, but I knew it was normal, especially because we had school. However, the last two weeks of school, we barely fought and we were getting along just fine. The day that school ended, we talked on the phone that night and we had a small fight. She didn't want to talk anymore, and she had came over the next night to tell me:

1. She wants to focus on family, friends, and school. This is something I always tell her to do, so I don't see this as much of a problem...

2. She wants space. This is hard to accept because everything was going so well!

3. She needed to find herself. Well that's rephrased. She said she needed to find something missing in her, and that she needs to grow up a little.

We were very very close friends before, and we grew together as boyfriend and girlfriend. It's hard to let her have that space.

I know you probably heard this story a million times. The relationship was going so well, we'd text each other everyday, see each other as much as possible, and simply love each other. The day before was so great just being with her, then the next day it's,"I want space." I would have given her the space if she had asked while we were going out, but she said she wanted to be fully alone. I know this is bad but after the breakup, I kept texting her about how much I want her back. I realize now that it was a mistake to do that. I want to give her her space but it's so hard to.

She's my best friend, and if all I can get is the friend in her back, then that's what I want. But now, she says she doesn't know if it'll work out. I really don't know what to do.

redhed35 · Jul 3, 2010, 09:34 AM

For right now give her the space she wants,give her all the time she needs,as she may never see you two back together again.

On the surface the relationship may seemed to be going just fine,but she has thought about telling you BEFORE she actually did.

I'm going to advice no contact,not for her,but for you,it's the most quick way for you to heal and get some perspective.

No matter how you feel no matter what you say to her,you can't make someone want you,as much as that hurts,excepting its over and start to deal with the hurt is the best thing to do.

Its summer now,go enjoy your friends,plan a trip if your old enough,go camping ,again if your old enough,if your not old enough,hang out with your friends,go bowling,get into a sport,keep busy.

CJ0123 · Jul 3, 2010, 09:37 AM

Yeah. We had made a plan this week that we would hang out as friends, but now I'm thinking of, well not ignoring her, but saying it's probably not a good idea yet. In a way, I'm thinking of what my friend had told me: "Make her miss you."

redhed35 · Jul 3, 2010, 09:42 AM

She will probably miss you,or at least miss the habits you had together,but she still ended it,playing games is for kids( making her miss you),most likely she will be busy doing the things she said she was going to do.

Wasting time trying to plan ways of getting her back when she does not want to be with you is a waste of your head space and heart space,and only hurt more in the long run.

Can I ask,what it was you disagreed with in my first post?

CJ0123 · Jul 3, 2010, 09:43 AM

Okay. Well thank you.

talaniman · Jul 3, 2010, 07:22 PM

I think she liked you better as a friend, so if you can't accept just friends, leave her alone until you can. That's what the NC suggestion was about, and I agree with it.

The last thing you want is to push her friendship away and have nothing, by playing games to get her back as a girlfriend. I doubt that will happen, and you could cross the lines between dignity and self respect by trying to get more than she is willing to give.

She asked for space, give it to her and bow out gracefully, and find your own thing to do without her. If you are truly friends, the time apart won't hurt things not one bit.

Kitkat22 · Jul 3, 2010, 09:42 PM

I think you want all of us to tell you what you want to hear. It doesn't work that way. We give advice that we think fits your situation. It is only an opinion.

You gave a disagree to someone who told you exactly what I'm going to say. You and this girl are not going to get back together.

She said she wanted space because she didn't want to say, "I don't want to be with you anymore"

You have to move on and leave her alone.

positiveparent · Jul 4, 2010, 01:04 PM

You say you've been boyfriend and girlfriend since you were younger, in that case I believe she's grown out of you, we all do it, and she also possibly wants to experience other things other b/fs go out with her g/friends go on dates, and do all the other girlie things young girls do.

You've grown apart and she wants to go see what else there is in life, its as simple as that, I suggest you get in it your mind that its over with you and this girl, and go no contact, and also you yourself need to also spread your wings, and see what else life is about.