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ssomai · Jun 17, 2010, 11:23 AM

I have a two year old, she's my first child... Every time she is doing something wrong, and I tell her no or please stop she continues doing it. This happens all the time, time out hardly works for me. Also, when she doesn't get her way, she hits, she pinches, she throws things, she bites, she kicks.. She so violent... I try to restrain her hands and try to calm her down, by singing, counting, telling her its OK and try to calm down.. But sometimes I get sooo frustrated.. are there any other suggestions as to what I should do?

redhed35 · Jun 17, 2010, 11:52 AM

Be consistent.

Using a naughty chair can works wonders.

Be firm and let her know why she is on the naughty chair,give her a chance to stop,if she does not,on the naughty chair for two minutes,(a minute for each of her years),if she leaves the chair put her back,do not reward her with communication,at the end of two minutes ask for an apoligy,explain to her its not nice to bite or shout or kick,that it hurts you,when she says sorry accept it.

Make sure her day is planned and she has a consistent routine,play time,bed time,meals the works,write up her day so everyone can see at a glance what's happening.

Everyone in the house needs to know the rules and what to do,kids are very smart and will quickly figure out who they can get around,don't confuse her.

I have posted a link that will go into more detail.

Effective Discipline Techniques- The Naughty Step: Parenting Skills

positiveparent · Jun 19, 2010, 11:20 AM

You're going to have to be firm with her, have you been saying no and then letting her do it anyway,

They're called the terrible twos you know, and that's not without any foundation.

Follow the link left by previous poster and really you have got to say NO and mean it, no matter how much you feel like giving into her if you don't she will rule you, and you'll have one spoilt child on your hands and it won't change with age, you have to do this now, or rather it is always wise to teach them what NO means as young as possible. Forget about teaching them Mama or Dada NO is the most important word LOL.

Always remember you're the Mummy person, she's littler than you.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 19, 2010, 11:22 AM

Sounds like all 2 year olds, personally a swift swat to the rear often solves many issues

bethaheald · Jul 19, 2010, 05:40 PM

I don't think spanking in the answer. You want her to learn how to have more self control over herself... not show her how you lose control. That will only send her mixed signals -- if hitting isn't OK then why would mommy do it. So please don't listen to anyone who says otherwise.

Your daughter is just testing out the waters to see what she can get away with and what she cant. You need to make sure she knows that YOU are the boss, not her. The next time she ignores you, tries to throw something or hit you then you should pick her up immediately and tell her in a tough voice NO you can not do that, or NO you do not hit mommy.

If she is anything like my 2 year old she will hate that she has made mommy upset and will probably start crying right away. Sit her down, walk away and don't speak to her for a moment. Let her little mind process what's just happened. Wait a minute or two and go back to her and say in a nicer voice, you are not allowed to hit me, or you are not allowed to touch that, OK? And make sure she repeats it back to you, OK.

Once she has pick her little self up and hold her and tell her that she is such a good girl. Notice her good behavior more often and constantly tell her how good she is being and what a good girl she is when you see her doing something good and she will be so happy to hear you talk to her like that she will try more to do things that get you to compliment her.

Good luck with your munchkin!

Kitkat22 · Jul 19, 2010, 05:56 PM

A swat on the backside didn't ever hurt them. We didn't beat but we spanked. I don't believe in child abuse or beating a child but spanking isn't beating or abuse.

positiveparent · Jul 25, 2010, 08:18 PM

When she's naughty you never praise her, you tell her no its naughty and you put her in the naughty chair or corner or step whatever you choose to use for the naughty area, and you make her stay there if she runs off and starts shouting screaming hitting kicking biting, you just pick her up go back to the naughty area and put her back in it, and if she doesn't stay in it you go get her and she goes back in it again, you must however tell her firmly, in a no nonsense voice that you mean business,

Never ever start singing to her or anything like this, you just take her to the naughty area and she's to stay there until she says she's sorry, if you have to put her back in it 50 times it doesn't matter she's got to go back in it untl she says she's sorry, and you have to do this every single time she's does something naughty.

You're the Mummy she's the child you've got to let her know you mean business, if you don't then expect her to carry on as she is for as long as you allow her to get away with being naughty, she won't discipline herself she doent know how to, that's your job, and you have really got to stick at it, until she realises she can't do certain things. If you don't teach this child discipline then you can't expect her to know what's allowed or what's not, its not her fault she's like she is, you have to teach her what's right or wrong, and it needs you to stick with it, no slacking off, and giving into her, that will get you no where.

The reason this child is unruly is because her life so far is inconsistent and unstructured, only you can change this and help her, by disciplining her, cuddling her when she's naughty is not the way to do this, she needs to know where she stands how far she can go, how much she can push her luck, of course she's having tantrums, because its all she knows until you teach her what No means, and what is not allowed. And you need to do this NOW, and really stick to it, it may mean a little hard work for you for a few days whilst you're getting this over to her, but life will get easier and more relaxed once you've done this and you really have got to do this, or your child will be excluded from other peoples homes and other peoples children will also avoid her, or their parents will.

Up until now you've been confusing her by one minute telling her she can't do this or that and then in the next breath you pick her up and try singing to her, no wonder she's getting frustrated. When you say NO mean it. And stick to it over and over again...

You don't need to shout at her or scream at her, or try to reason with her she has no idea of what any of those mean, but if you tell her No that's Naughty in a firm but fair tone of voice in time she`ll catch on. But stick with it at all times, don't give in to her. She's the child don't forget...

I also agree sometimes a swat across the nappy area will do wonders, nothing violent, just a swat on the bum. It'll hurt her pride nothing more than that.

You never praise her when she's naughty nor until she's learned to say sorry for being naughty, its called tough love and its often needed with raising kids.