[jerziigurl123]

My boyfreind and I have been together for a year and a half. In his previous relationship of four years him and his girl were basically toys for each other. All they did was have sex. When me and him got together we were very attracted to each other. After about four months we ended up having sex. It was nice but he didn't want our relationship to become what his previous was which was all about sex. When he did sleep over which was about once a week we had sex. After a while he said he didn't want to have sex because he felt it was becoming all about that so I agreed and we stopped for a while. We than started again. And one night it just wasn't the same. After this kept going for a while he basically sat me down and was like I love everything about you but I'm just not physically attracted to you and that's why we haven't been having sex. He said he wants to be with me because he loves everything else and he doesn't mind that I'm not attractive because one day I will get in shape and it won't be like this for long. He said if he can live with him not being attracted to me for the time being and not having sex we can be together but if I can't we should break up. I love him to death. I don't want to loose him over something like that so I agreed I was fine. Its been about six months since that time and I hurts so much that he's not attracted to me. I don't know everywhere we go I see skinny attractive girls and I see him looking it hurts. But I love him and I don't want to fight over this. I don't want to break up. And I'm tryying to get in shape and he's never cheated on me but I just wish he would have the same lust for me as he did when we first met. I don't know and we have sex once in a while but only when he's in the mood. Its hard. I wish we never had sex to begin with. Any comments?

[talaniman]

That's a darn shame that you have allowed this to go on for so long, that your confidence and self esteem have suffered so much.

No its not a small thing to over look, but its obvious you need to have a talk with this guy, and tell him things ain't working for you, and say good bye to him. Its more a grudging friendship, than a relationship, and its bound to fizzle out sooner or later, and sooner would be better.

Then at least you can find a guy who will love you for who you are, and not just likes you.

I think he has the issues, not you. And he is doing you no favors.

[liz28]

I agree with Tal and reading this thread broke my heart. Before you can be someone you need to be happy with yourself. When you love yourself you wouldn't stay in a situation like this>>I am not going even call this a relationship.

My advice is to leave this guy and work on yourself. If you want to get in shape then do it for yourself. Never stay with someone who makes you unhappy and makes you feel low about yourself because you are beautiful and need to embrace your beauty. And this starts with loving yourself.

[Cat1864]

This is going to seem harsh to you, but it is this person you are 'seeing' who I am upset with NOT you.

You should not have to change anything about yourself to please another person especially one who pretty much just told you that YOU are the major problem in the relationship. IF you want to get in shape and/or lose weight for yourself, great. If you are attempting to do it for this person, not good. The only way to make effective changes are to do them for the most important person they affect-yourself.

The problem is him. You could look like his favorite actress or model and he would still find fault because you aren't his previous girlfriend. I would hazard a guess that he is looking for the same feelings/experiences he had with her. How long were they broken up when you became involved with him?

Frankly, he told you he isn't attracted to you, but he still has sex with you when he is in the mood. She wasn't the sex toy.

I, personally, wouldn't want someone in my bed who I felt was comparing me to an ex or the legs he was checking out on the street.

You deserve much better than to have someone try to remake you into what he wants. You deserve somebody who will love and be attracted to you as the individual you are. Someone who won't make you feel less of an attractive person just because he has issues.

I wonder how much you are in love with him or the idea of being in a relationship and 'in love'. It is a very easy mistake to make.

[aimee_tt]

Ive lost weight and gained weight whilst being with my boyfriend and no matter how much I weigh he tells me he loves me and I am beautiful.

Your boyfriend should be doing the same.. If he truly loved you and hethought you were over weight he should have said lets go for a walk.. Lets buy a treadmill. Not mention your weight once!

Ditch him.. No matter if your skinny chubby or overweight no one has the right to degrade you like that.

Tell him your taking your big booty to someone who will appreciate it!

[Devorameira]

He's a total controlling jerk!

Nobody should be commenting negatively about your weight or anything else, especially someone who loves and cares about you.

You need to seriously reconsider ending this relationship. There is no way that he loves you.

You deserve to be with someone who accepts you for the beautiful person you are inside and out, regardless of what the scale says.

[graveyardqueen]

He sounds like a big jackass.
I love you, but I can only have sex with you occasionally because I'm not attracted to you, but don't worry its OK cause one day you'll be what I want.?
That's not the way it works at all. You sound like a really caring, big hearted person and you don't deserve that at all. Big, skinny, whatever, everyone has the right to be adored and admired for their own sexual prowess and allure. You deserve someone whose going to love you, please you, make you feel good about yourself and want to jump your bones because your what they want, no matter which way you come.

[indya]

Physical/sexual attraction is a part of being in love. And it is an important part too. He just cannot comment and say that he is not attracted to you because you are not skinny.

And why should you be skinny to get a guy to like you? You are not his puppet. Don't do this to yourself, ditch him. Find a guy who doesn't have a twisted idea of attraction. Not all girls are waif thin! Does that mean they are not attractive?

You must be the one to decide whether you want to lose weight or not, he should not be telling you to.