[Millerthk]

Hi There, :o

I am new to this site, as I just signed up this morning. I have read a lot of the posted questions and answers regarding child support. It seems that there are a lot of Mom's on here that are looking to collect, well I am a Father who is looking to pay. My story is probably like no other but I am hoping that someone may be able to offer me some advice... HERE IT GOES

I have a 13 year old son that I was born when I was at the young age of 17 (a senior in high school). I have ALWAYS paid his c.s. payments ontime etc. Approx 2.5 years ago my ex-wife (his Mother) asked that she be allowed to move him out of N.Y. and bring him to Massachusetts. I paid over $12,000.00 in legal fees (and am still paying from this), in order to try and keep him here. This place was the only place he ever knew, his home, his roots, his family. His Mother wanted to move because supposedly her boyfriend proposed and he was moving there with one of the two children. Amongst all of the court battles and fighting I won a temporay order for my son to remain here. My nightmares only became worse. It was a constant battle with my ex and I then had her brai washing my son that he should want to leave. You know kind of promising him the world if he did. So I sat him down one day since he was now telling me that he wanted to move. The three of us decided to "try" this move with a lot of provisions. Including that he would come out here every other weekend for my visitation and on holidays etc. Well the weekends stopped long ago. I can count on two hands how many times my son has been here. He has been expelled from one school, had out/in school suspension from his current school, his mother has had a complaint filed against her with DSS, he pushed another kid into traffic. The list goes on. SO I got angry. I did the wrong thing, and told her I was going to stop paying for him if I wasn't seeing him. I am now about 4 months behind in c.s. payments and just yesterday rec'd a court order from Mass to pay $500.00 per month plus 1/2 of medical ins, 1/2 of copays and scripts.

The PLOT THICKENS.. I remarried and have a daughter. Her Mother and I ended up getting divorced as well. So now I have to pay HER child support. Our judgment of divorce and with no thanks to the atty that I used, has me paying her $800.00 a month is c.s. half of her daycare (my portion of that is $562.00 a month. AND That's A DAYCARE IN A CHURCH. SOUNDS LIKE COLLEGE TUITION HUH). Plus 1/2 of ins/copays/doctor visits.

NOW please don't think I am a nut case. BUT my current Girlfriend of 3 years and I have a baby together. He is now 6 months old and had to have heart surgery at only 2 weeks old so we have been inundated with travel expenses etc since he spent almost 3 months in two different hospitals. Hence the reason I have fallen behind with my daughters payments as well.

This all boils down to this: I have three children by three different Mom's. One I currently live with. I CANNOT afford to pay out almost $2200.00 a month in c.s. payments. I am having a hard time making ends meet as it is. Paying that much would only leave me about $900.00 a month to pay for everything else including utilities, the necessites for my baby rent etc.

I want to pay. I do not want to go to jail... which is what both ex's threaten me with constantly. They are now both telling me that they are going to further deny me access an visitation to my children. I already feel as though I have lost my son. What can I do? WIll the court understand my circumstances? Can I represent myself? Or should I try to get an atty (not that I can afford one).

THANKS FOR HEARING MY LONG DRAWN OUT STORY! I wish you all luck with your endeavors.

Sincerely,

Clint

[ScottGem]

You have court ordered custody and visitation rights. Rather than withhold support, you should have asked the court to enforce your rights.

But that's water under the bridge. You now need to go to both courts and document your financial situations and ask for a reevaluation of your support payments. Point out the court (and your exes) that putting you in jail is going to cut off support entirely. You stand a better chance of getting a reduction with an an attorney representing you.