[plopper]

I have a very difficult situation that I am in regarding my 15 month old son and his mother. There is ongoing issues with her as far as neglect and many personal issues she has that has me concerned for my child's welfare. I do not want to be in a relationship with her but I continue to because of him. She has problems with alcohol abuse and is on medication for depression. There have been countless incidents of her extreme intoxication causing her not to come home which in turn causes me to miss work since she is not there to provide care(being that I am the sole supporter this is a huge thing since it needless to say puts my job at risk). There was even one incident where she was so intoxicated she did not get out of bed and at noon I came home (left for work @ 7:30 a.m.) because no one answered the phone only to find my child wandering around the house with a full diaper and unfed while mommy slept off a night of drinking. We are not married and live in Michigan (EXTREMELY Mother friendly state in terms of custody) so I am scared that if I leave her and try to fight for custody I will not be awarded what I am looking for which is FULL custody. As of now, I deal with her so that I can keep him in my life every day but it is not good for either of us to withstand the damage she brings. While all this sounds like I should not have an issue obtaining custody (homeowner, stable job of 7 years and all of her issues) the majority of it would be my word against hers. Her parents have stated to me that they would speak in court on my behalf that they would prefer to see their grandchild under my carethen hers which does speak volumes as far as I'm concerned but not sure how that would matter the court. Once again, I would be EXTREMELY concerned if she was awarded even joint custody because on the days I do not have him I would have no idea how he was being cared for and if he is OK.. it would drive me crazy thinking and not knowing... any advice would be appreciated.

[ellen0]

You have to get other people to witness her neglect and misconduct. Not just your friends but professionals. Like the police, child protection, etc. Start with a lawyer now and don't tell her about. You need as much proof as you can without arousing her suspicion. Good luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

You will need to file for custody and prove all of this in court