[hjayawardena]

Hey, I'm new to this and just want to try something different as I feel as though I've exhausted all of my other options and still feel like I haven't had my issues dealt with.
So I have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now and things couldn't be better. This is not my first relationship, neither hers, but we are madly in love and are a perfect fit. Our parents accept our relationship and like one another... everything is going well. But I can't help but feel like things are going to fall and collapse on top of me. She is leaving for med school in 2 months and will be gone for a total of 4 years (Considering she gets residency where we live now if not will be 6 years). I also just found out that if she does not get residency where we live now she may have to work as a doctor in a rural area for about 5 years... making the grand total of 11 years away! I would love to go with her and be with her during all this, but I cant! For the first 4 years, she will be moving around a lot which makes it impossible for me to keep a job or run the business that I run right now (IT business). And as far as the working in a rural area is concerned, it's the same thing... It would just set us back.
I don't know how to handle a long distance relationship or what to expect and neither does she. Im afraid that it will change a lot of what we have going for us right now and possibly even make us drift apart.
Traveling to see her often would be too costly... Id have to be making a lot of money in order to even consider that... or would probably have to get into as much debt as she's about to get into! :S
We have discussed all of this with each other, but don't know how to deal with it and we do not want to loose each other. We have talked to friends about it but come up short with the advice... all we get is... "don't worry, things will work out."
She is dreading having to go and so am I. She doesn't even get excited about the things she has to do in med school or learn, or anything for that matter about med school. But when I first met her, she was! I think that if she was excited about it and that I knew this is something she really wanted I would be happy and not so miserable about the whole thing.
I don't even know if she is doing something that she wants to do any more or if its something that she has to do because her parents told her to... as she always mentions she doesn't want to let them down. When I bring up this point she never wants to really talk about it. She doesn't want to think about it because she doesn't want to think anything else. She has made up this thought that this is what she wants to do because her parents told her to, but she really and truly does not know if this is what she wants to do for the rest of her life.

This is a lot... I know! I'm sorry! I don't know what else to do or where to go! PLEASE HELP! Any thoughts... What do I do?

[talaniman]

If what you have is real and meant to survive the obstacles before you then it will through work and efforts of you both.

While things are great now between you, I think that adversity, and hard times is what defines a relationship, and the path it takes, whether you bond together, or grow apart. Hard to tell after only 6 months how you both will deal with each other and your situation, but few relationships can survive that amount of time apart without some very tough sacrifices, and compromises. But here are some ideas to help with the distance, at least initially.

Handle This: Seven Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship | The Frisky

Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship

At least you have an idea about what to expect. The real test is how well you work together with each other, but as I say, after only 6 months, its hard to even make such a commitment, nor is advisable, but it's a risk you either take, or you don't.

[ZoeMarie]

I would talk to her again, tell her that if this is something that she truly wants to do and doesn't feel like her parents are putting her up to, that you support her. And then, support her. Long distance relationships are hard. I've been there. In my case it didn't work out, but my cousin was in a long distance relationship for 4 years and they were strong enough that they stayed together and got married. What you need to do is try not to panic and just take it day by day, if she does decide to go through with everything. You might even find, since you've been together such a short period, that it wasn't meant to be. I'm not trying be a downer here, but it sounds like you're young and have your whole life ahead of you.

[Anony123]

Any updates on this?
How did things end up with your relationship?
I'm going through the same thing right now with my girlfriend - any advice after going through it?

[Cat1864]

Anony, if you would like advice your situation, please start your own thread. Please include information about your relationship that will help posters give you appropriate advice.

Thank you.