[blusky72]

We've been together for about 4 months. From the 2nd date he was pushing for us to become exclusive. Initially I said no, that I wanted to date other people, but felt bad because he said he couldn't see himself dating other people while he was dating me. I finally agreed to see only him and he admitted that he was just so afraid that I might meet someone I liked better and leave him. His insecurity bothered me and I felt it was kind of selfish since I explained why I just really wanted to date: My divorce was just final a little over a year ago, and I am going through counseling for some abuse and family issues from my past. And being in a new town, I just wanted to have a social life and stop being so isolated.

He's 40 and so anxious to be in a relationship and have a family and get married (he's the only one in his family that's single). He admits that he is impatient - and in addition to being insecure, I think he's also a bit immature: We've had at least three conversations where I have asked him to cut back on all the sexual innuendos (don't bend over like that it turns me on, if I win the next game can I kiss your butt, ooh you're just so sexy you turn me on - it is like this non-stop to the point that it's annoying - and I don't want to be around him).

He does have some really good things about him. But his clinginess and constant pressuring are pushing me away. And I still feel cheated that we never really got to "date." Part of me wants to try and work through some of the issues I have with him - the other part of me is afraid to take my guard down - the minute I acknowledge anything positive between us he is asking me about going to look at rings - and then I am ready to run.

[blusky72]

So my question is - should I just tell him I want to date other people or should I give him time to settle down and loosen up?

[friend4u178]

Sounds like you don't really want to be exclusive with this guy and his clinginess and insecurities will finally push you away anyway.

I don't like telling people to dump someone , but after 4 months he's already getting under your skin , you've been totally honest with him and he's still managed to get you to be exclusive when you don't really want to.

Tell him what you want to do , if he can't handle it I'm afraid that's his problem.