[Siz92]

I am almost 18 my parents don't let me go out like anywhere not to friends houses not even close ones not anywhere I got friends who go out every day and they ask questions a\i am tired of making excuses I dontr know what to da I hate to dispoint them but I am on the verge of breaking my exams end in 2 days I am not allowed to go out for even an hour? I am sick of it!!

[JudyKayTee]

Why don't your parents want you to go out?

[Siz92]

Its not safe!! Because its cheap for girls to go out guyz stare at you!!

[JudyKayTee]

Where are you going? That is not rational thinking.

Of course, I'm sure your parents have their side of things.

[redhed35]

Have your parents met your friends,and/or their parents?

As a parent of teenage girls I always made a point of speaking to my daughters friends and have them in my home,I got a real feel for my daughters friends,I also,when it was justified,made a point of talking to their parents,perhaps at a parent/teacher meeting etc,it was judgemental of me I know,however,it was my responsibility to keep them safe and also my job to know who they were hanging around with.

My point is,if you introduce your friends to your parents,and allow your parents the freedom to check out your friends,maybe they will allow you some freedom.

As your parents it's their job to protect you,and they do it out of love for you.

[KBC]

i am almost 18 my parents dont let me go out like anywhere not to friends houses not even close ones not anywhere i got friends who go out every day and they ask questions a\i am tired of making excuses i dontr know what to da i hate to dispoint them but i am on the verge of breaking my exams end in 2 days i am not allowed to go out for even an hour? i am sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is there something or some reason they don't trust you to go out?Any past behaviors which might make them over protective?

[Homegirl 50]

Have you been grounded for something or have your parents never let you go out?

Are you going to college, if so you will gain some freedom soon.

[JoeCanada76]

Your 18 years old.

I think your parents think your not mature enough and I can see why.

18 year old some are more mature then others but it does seem that your parents have good reason to keep you home. Especially with exams and study.

[Kitkat22]

Parents are always going to be protective of their children. If you have exhibited bad behavior in the past, then you are going to have to gain their trust again!

Good Luck

[positiveparent]

At 18 you should be allowed to go out with friends, I assume you're in the USA?

In England an 18 year old is considered adult, they can marry without consent, vote, drink in pubs, buy alcohol, anything an adult can do.

I guess that's not how it is over there, but even so at 18 she's not far off being an adult and if she's to make a success of life as an adult in the adult world then surely she ought to be beginning to get to know that that means, and going out socialising with friends is all part and parcel of the transition from adolescent to young adult.

We cannot keep our children /young adults tied to our apron strings.

We have to let them go and to live their own lives and at 18 they should be at least half way into doing this. She's not a child.

Here you couldn't even ground a 16 yr old let alone an 18year old.

I really feel that if this persons parents don't stop trying to thwart her transition to an adult then they're being cruel and controlling and will create numerous problems for this person. If not already created.

[JoeCanada76]

You are using this site as a message board, responding at ldngth to other people who have answered. That is not how the board works.

Please - you sound like you are preaching to "us," not addressing or helping the OP.

Actually you know what. Sometimes the tougher parents are on children. The stricter they are whether it seems fair or not. That actually helps the children do better in life. If the parents are too easy on their children and do not have rules, guidelines and boundaries then the children will have a lot more problems and issues.

I have some really personal experiences with very unreasonable rules and control by my parents but looking back on it. That made me move out, that made me make my life better and live my life better. I still think it was unfair and completely abusive in ways but made me a better person today.

At the same time, I will not make the same mistakes with my children and hope they turn out good anyway.

EVERY situation is different. You can have the strict family and child turn out terrible, or you can have the child that has no direction and turn out good and visa versa.

In the end of it. What is most important is that EACH individual no matter what their circumstance grows up and makes their own decisions in life and taking responsibility of your own life.

The thing is whether this person is 18 or not. This person still lives at home and STILL needs to abide by parents rules. If not then if this child/teen/ almost adult will need to make the decision whether to listen or leave and make their own decisions and live on their own without mommy and daddy help or rules. Could be good or bad.

The thing is that this persons maturity level is in question. Maturity levels differ from person to person even if the age is the same.

So my advice if you do not like the rules, GET OUT.

Maturity level of this 18 year old is not ready for that. In my own opinion.

I agree, with the parents in this case. Study right now is more important.

[Jake2008]

You are only 17, and you have exams. I see nothing wrong with your parents curbing your social life while exams are going on.

Do they otherwise, during the school year, allow you to go out? Do you go to school dances? To the mall with your friends shopping?

Do you have a boyfriend they don't know about?

Why do you think they are so strict. Other than exams, has there ever been problems when you were out like getting home too late, doing things you weren't supposed to do etc.

You'll have a very long summer if you are confined to your home. Maybe after exams, and when you do actually turn 18, sit and talk to them. Communicating is your best bet.

To be honest with you, its kind of refreshing in a way that they actually apply discipline and have expectations of you.

[JoeCanada76]

You are only 17, and you have exams. I see nothing wrong with your parents curbing your social life while exams are going on.

Do they otherwise, during the school year, allow you to go out? Do you go to school dances? To the mall with your friends shopping?

Do you have a boyfriend they don't know about?

Why do you think they are so strict. Other than exams, has there ever been problems when you were out like getting home too late, doing things you weren't supposed to do etc.

You'll have a very long summer if you are confined to your home. Maybe after exams, and when you do actually turn 18, sit and talk to them. Communicating is your best bet.

To be honest with you, its kind of refreshing in a way that they actually apply discipline and have expectations of you.

A lot of parents do not have these expectations in their children and that is why we are seeing the problems in the world we have today.

[JudyKayTee]

Actually you know what. .

Actually I do know what - I know that I never disagreed with the parents on this thread. I have asked "why." I asked "why" on the OP's other thread. I make no assumptions in either direction. My father's rule was, "When you are under my roof you follow my rules." It didn't matter if I was 8 or 18 or 28. Those were my father's rules.

Was that controlling? I don't know. I do know my siblings and I are all college educated (minimum is a 4 year degree), employed, no out of wedlock children, none of us with Police records, none of us in prison (at least currently). All of us do volunteer work, are responsible people. Is it because my father "controlled" me - or did he "direct" me. That I admit I do not know.

I also know that this is not a chat room.

That's what I do know.

[Kitkat22]

Actually I do know what - I know that I never disagreed with the parents on this thread. I have asked "why." I asked "why" on the OP's other thread. I make no assumptions in either direction. My father's rule was, "When you are under my roof you follow my rules." It didn't matter if I was 8 or 18 or 28. Those were my father's rules.

Was that controlling? I don't know. I do know my siblings and I are all college educated (minimum is a 4 year degree), employed, no out of wedlock children, none of us with Police records, none of us in prison (at least currently). All of us do volunteer work, are responsible people. Is it because my father "controlled" me - or did he "direct" me. That I admit I do not know.

I also know that this is not a chat room.

That's what I do know.

We had rules and our kids followed them. The OP should abide by her parents wishes and maybe the rules will change a little. Make good grades and show you are responsible. You have to earn trust .

[Homegirl 50]

Parents are always going to be protective of their children. If you have exhibited bad behavior in the past, then you are going to have to gain their trust again!

Good Luck

Now that is the question and as I see it, it was never answered. If this young lady has been exhibiting behaviors that has caused them to be this way, then that is a different story.

[positiveparent]

To OP, please disregard my earlier posts.

I may not be in same country as yourself, but I would like to help you, I know you feel very upset and sad at the moment ( I feel it) and possibly that no one knows how you're feelling or that you aren't being given same options as your friends.

Please take heart your exams will soon be over and the pressure will be lifted from all, especially you, please be patient, Im sure once the exams are done there will be changes made favourably to yourself, I would think.

If you feel you would like to go into more details about your situation it may shed more light on how things are for you, Please feel free to elaborate in any area of your question, If I can help you I will...

[positiveparent]

I have been given consent to add my site link to my signature file. It is not a business, I am selling nothing nor even advertising anything, its not a forum or message board, it's a information sharing positive parenting site.

All free.

[QLP]

Can I just make a small simple suggestion to the OP.

You are nearly 18. You're exams are nearly over. Can you try and hang on for a little longer, keep your head down and do as well as you can in your exams, and then try and have a chat with your parents. Instead of making it confrontational, just say that you have done your best in your exams and would like to hang out with friends a little afterwards to help you relax. Ask them what you can do to make them feel OK about this and maybe they will engage with you if you try to make it a sensible chat not an argument.

I'm not sure why your parents are reluctant about this, but the middle of your exams is probably not the best time to try and sort it. As they end in a couple of days please hang in there and get them out of the way then try to deal with this other problem.

Oh, and good luck with the exams. :)

Edit: Sorry, I have just realised the exams will have finished now. I hope they went well and if you come back on perhaps you could let us know if things are any better at home.

[KBC]

This is getting the op no help,either this goes back to a discussion for her,or I vote it gets closed,, My bias set aside... arguing amongst each other doesn't make the site look too professional, or inviting.