[jonipeters]

I was a single parent to my children 99% of there lives. My husband took myself and the children to see my parents (from Conn. To VA) dropped us off and sent me divorce papers. My daughter was 5mos. And my son had just turned 4. He quit his job and did not pay child support.
Now that they are adults 24 and 20 they don't want anything to do with me. NO contact. They did not know their father for many years. My daughter not until she was 10 then again at 18. My son left to live with his Dad just before he turned 18.
Now they call him Dad, he told them I refused to let him see them. I sent him letters begging for him to contact the children all their lives. Now he's DAD when they are Adults! And I am the bad guy.
I may have not been Mother of the year. But I took these kids across country twice, to New York City. My son played soccer from the time he was in 2nd grade. Most of my life I worked two jobs to make ends meet. And that was when he was court ordered to pay child support. It cost a lot to raise these kids so they could have the things that they wanted. My daughter has been to Europe twice.
And I was just a waitress. Oh, by the way when my husband quit his job, he went to college to get a degree. He said I should have too. HOW? I was raising your Children!
My daughter left for College and then sent me an e-mail saying I shattered her life. And she is happy now and she is with people who love her. She has not asked me for a penny for College except to get her started. A couple of thousand dollars at least.
No Mothers day cards, No birthday cards. I think about my children every second, of every minute, of every day. 365 And I cry myself to sleep every night.

Joni

[hheath541]

Just give them time, and show them that you still want to be part of their lives. It may take awhile, but eventually they'll realize everything you did for them and how much you love them.

[Jake2008]

I hope there is more to this story. As it is, it is very one sided in my opinion.

Other than describing yourself as not being mother of the year, your description of you, is that of a hero raising children to adulthood, and doing a very good job without any help from their father. No money, no support, nothing.

Suddenly, when your son is of age, he goes to live with his father. And it seems your daughter has established a relationship with him as well, at about the same age if I read this right.

How did that happen if they had no contact with him most of their lives. Why would they suddenly up and want to go and live with 'dad'.

Why would it happen just as they are adults, it's almost like they couldn't wait to go.

I am sorry, but I don't understand if they had such good lives and parenting from you during all their growing years, why did they need to go live with a father they didn't know.

Did they indicate in any way, why?

[QLP]

Did your daughter give any indication as to how she thinks you 'shattered her life?'

What are they saying it is they think you did wrong?

Did you, because you were so hurt by their father's actions talk about him negatively to the children while they were growing up even though behind the scenes you were desperately trying to get him to make contact?

[JoeCanada76]

Hello, I tend to agree with Jake here.

It is almost like your expecting some big return from your kids. Almost as if your expecting them to take care of you in return?

You know what there are many many many single parents that raise children have a job and do the schooling.

Maybe you should have done the schooling. Give the Father congrats for going to college and doing something with his life.

It sounds like your children are doing the same thing. Good for them.

Instead of the poor me. If you truly did a good job raising them then you know when they are on their own that they will do well in their life.

It is truly up to them whether they want a relationship with you or not. You need to except at this time that they have a relationship with their father and that you need to be understanding that right now they are living their own life.

Maybe down the road, relationships will be mended. You just never know but for now you need to pick yourself up and do something for yourself in your own life...

By the way, just to add. I in no way am saying that you do not love your kids. Just saying that your children are now adults trying to live their own life.