[Xosej]

This is going to be really long so I would like to apologize, and thanks to all who take the time to ready this.

Okay, well I've known this girl (lets call her H) for like five months now, we work together that's how we met, at first she was very shy and still is but not that much. You could say we started great (at least that's how I viewed it), we started talking, texting, finding out that we have many things in common, amidst all of this I started having strong feelings for her but didn't know how she felt towards me so I invited her out to see where it all was going. We arranged a day were both of us had the day off so we could go out, unfortunately later on the decided day she texted me that a family emergency came up and couldn't go, I told her not to worry, that family always comes first and that I was cool with it, she appreciated the understaing and said she would let me know how it went, later that night I get a text from her telling me that everythings fine now but that she felt crappy about not coming to see me, I told her again not to worry about it and also that I could relax now, she responded with a "Awwwwww I didnt think I mattered to u" to which I replied "U have no idea how much u matter to me"... and then proceeded to texting the rest of the night. A couple of weeks go by and I start to think that she knows I like her but still don't ask her directly. SO I again proceed to ask her out again but this time to a Fair, she says yes and I'm really excited and nervous at the same time so I ask one of our (her and mine) friends (lets call her A) if she can go with us so as to help me out, to which she agrees, later that day A lets me know that H also asks her to go with the fair with us because she didn't know what to do and was also nervous. Needless to say we had a blast at the fair but me and H were preety quiet most of the time, I got her a plushie puppy, we took booth photos together (which she gave me to keep) and got on some rides. I tought we had something going on because she is always shy around me but still talks and jokes around after a while. Again a couple of weeks go by and my feelings for her get even stronger but still don't know if she has any feelings for me. Around the fourth month she lets me know that her brother is having a Babyshower, she didn't really invite me per se, but I asked if I could go, to which she said "If u want". Well I show up to the babyshower and she tells me "I didnt think u would come" I'm not sure is that's good or bad, the first two persons I greet after seeing her are her parents we talked for quite a while so I'm guessing they liked me, anyway we stay close to each other for the rest of the party, when she has to leave she says goodbye to everyone of her friends with a hug and a kiss but just waives at me (I got a little bummed I'll admit but didn't really pay attention to it) as soon as she turns around one of her friends says "wheres his (me) hug?" so she turns arounds smiling and hugs and kisses me on the cheek. At this point I'm positive that I have a really good chance with her. About three weeks ago I decided to gather up the courage to tell her how I feel, I was really hoping to do it in person but do to our job we don't really have much free time so I told her through texts... I told her everything about how I like her and have liked her for a long time, how I'm always nervous around her and stuff. After the very long text she responds "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend" I was devastated but kept my cool "He is a very lucky guy" I should have seen this coming since earlier when we met she told me that her ex has been texting her and stuff. I am not sure since I don't have any proof but I'm sure that her current boyfriend is her ex, she told me that this guy has already left her twice and is also the guy that keeps calling her back. Present Day: Well we still work at the same job, still talk to each other, and I still have feelings for her but decided to back off, she's still very friendly towards me and I still don't know if she ever did have any feelings towards me. I haven't contacted her through calls or texts or anything, but can't avoid her at work, when I see her I smile say hi and she smiles and says hi back and stuff. I still have feelings for this girl but don't act on them, respecting the fact that she has a boyfriend and keep my distance, right now I'm just acting normal, going out, hanging with friends just doing stuff to keep her off my mind, my question is What if her boyfriend leaves her and she turns to me (unlikely but still a possibilty), I don't want to be a rebound guy and I know I should give her time to heal and get her mind straight, I know I shouldn't jump to any conclusions so I'm looking for advice on what to do, any would help.

Thanks for taking the time to read this VERY LONG question

[I wish]

Try reading this thread, it might give you some insight: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

If she already knows how you feel, then the ball is on her side of the court. Back away and see how she reacts.

[Devorameira]

Sure they may break up again someday, but they may never break up. Are you going to waste your life worrying about what may never happen?

Stop daydreaming about her and go out and find yourself a girlfriend that isn't taken.

[jmjoseph]

So, you want advice on how to successfully break up a relationship?

How about if it was YOU that already had her, and some guy like YOU came along and tried to take her away? How would you like that?

She is off limits, not available right now.

Try to act accordingly.

[talaniman]

Not only do I think it's a bad idea to act on feelings of attractions with someone you work with, but I am trying to figure out how you didn't know she had a boyfriend in the first place, before you let your feelings guide your actions.

Now your in the friend zone, and that's cool, but get rid of the romantic notions fast. The best way is a very active social life outside of work, that you enjoy. You may even find the romance that your looking for.

[Xosej]

Thanks for all the advice guys, but I'm not hoping for them to break up nor am I looking for advice on how to break them up, that's just wrong, she made her choice and chose him, I'm just looking for advice on how to handle the situation because I can't help but feel that we have something a little bit more than just regular friendship

[talaniman]

You stay within the boundaries of good behavior, as a friend, and co-worker.

Define more than friends? As in what do you expect from her.

[Xosej]

Well I don't really expect that much, probably what I expect from her is what has always happened: every time I came up to a girl and told her a how I feel (because this has happened before) she just stops talking to me and ignores me sometimes even hates me, but like I said she's is different, she is still very friendly and talks with me as if nothing had happened, I'm thinking its because she feels sorry or something like that.

[talaniman]

Or maybe she sees you as a friend and co-worker and that's it. Why change that, be a friendly co worker who is smart enough to know how to act with a female who is unavailable for romance. There is nothing else to do.

[teastalk]

I agree with Talaniman. Just act like she's any other coworker and you'll be fine. If you somehow transmit the feeling to her that you still want to be with her, it creeps girls out and she make just act like according to the expectations that you described before.

[Xosej]

Thanks guys for all these advice, yeah I'm thinking of keeping it simple and be a good friend, thanks again guys