[h0llister]

Hey everyone, thank you for reading. I have a problem and I have absoluetly no idea how to go about fixing it.

It's about my mother, I think she has depression or something. I don't know how to help her, I do currently live with her. She has no friends, she says she doesn't trust anyone in this world expect my brother and I. My brother is really busy in university and working so he is barely around. She hasn't worked in 2 years because her father (my grandpa) passsed away and she had to deal with that but that was so long ago. Now she has developed back problems but she never takes care of her body, some days she will only eat like toast or something an we do have money for good meals, she says she never feels like cooking . So I will cook nice meals for her whenever I can. Also she has let her body go all her teeth are pretty much decayed, she has back problems so she says she doesn't no where to work, she sits at home all day playing online games. I feel so bad I want to help her but every time I try to bring up the topic she shuts right down and she's like I don't want to talk about it. I've tried approaching it several different ways. But she's the kind of person who would rather aviod a problem until it's bad enough you have no choose but to deal with it. Her health is declining, her body is starting to have problems, she doesn't want to do anything, she isn't even botherig to find a job. She's just using all her savings to pay for stuff right now, but it won't last forever. I'm so worried about her I dontknow what t o do, sometimes I'll take her out to the movies and stuff but usually she wants to stay at home. Please does anyone have advice on how to help someone like this?? Also she's only 40years old and I'm 19.

[cdad]

Your in a tough situation. You can't help someone unless they are willing to participate. Its sad that in a way you have become the parent in this situation. Sort of a role reversal. As far as what to do? Is it possible she is addicted to what she is playing? Some people have that happen to them. Its also important to know because the routes to treatment of any kind are different based on the real problem.

[Wondergirl]

My uncle was where she is -- it's like, "Everything's falling apart,, and I don't know where to start fixing anything. And even if I start fixing things, other things will fall apart, plus it's all too expensive to fix."

She is probably still depressed from her father's death. She never worked through it, and now, with her body and life falling apart around her, that's even more reason for being depressed, so "let's just ignore it all because nothing can get fixed easily or cheaply and I'll just bury my head in the sand and play with the computer all day."

Are there other family members who can step in? The family needs to get her to a psychiatrist or even to her family doctor -- and not let her fall back into apathy!

[h0llister]

I don't believe she is really that addicted to the games it's just more out of Boredum she plays them...

Wondergirl- that sounds excatly like her. Also she was like this before my grandpa passed away but she ha a job then but she would work 12hour days almost everyday. She doesn't stay in contact with any of the family, I barely even know anyone in that side of my family because of that. I just don't know what to do I actually meantioned her to see someone to talk to an she said she doesn't want to waste her money on that stuff. I just love her so much and She has a great heart , she's just so sad or something and I want her to live life to the fullest I just don't know how to help her.. Thank you for the responses .