[isolatedwife]

I am pretty much in the same boat as most of you. We have been married for 14 years I am 32, we have a 12 year old. As I write he I am pretty sure he is at the casino 20 miles from our home. Last night after I fell asleep he sneaked off to the casino 120 miles away as it is open 24 hours. I awoke at 4am and called him, of course he answered and said the usual "dont worry i will be home soon" at 10am this morning he called and said that he was on his way that he had lost $300. It is now 3pm and he is not home yet. I am pretty sure he stopped off at the other casino on the way home the one closer to us because there is $400 missing from his bank account. I am so ashamed to face our daughter as she will be home from school soon and will give me "the look" when she asks where he is and I tell her "playing cards."
I just transferred most all of his money to my account that he has no access to since I am not going to go through counting pennies again. He is a stock broker and has access to large amounts of money that he uses for gambling, its such a lonely miserable life I am constantly expecting him to end up in jail or the hospital as he has a sports car and speeds like crazy even though he is constantly getting his license suspended. I have alienated everyone out of my life because for them to know the truth about our life would seriously kill me. I know that many of you will tell me to leave but the truth is I love him and when its good its heaven when its bad its mind numbing. In the past year I am sure he has reached tens of thousands that he has gambled away. Our anniversary this year I spent alone as he said he would be right back he wanted to get me an "anniversary gift" he left at 2pm and came back the next day at 8am. He is a binge gambler and a heavy drinker I know he has a serious addiction but refuses help since he does not feel he has a problem. He does keep asking for me to help him quit drinking, smoking and gambling but when I try he refuses. He will not go to therapy and ends up doing whatever he wants to do. I lack for nothing, I have my bills paid but at what cost? It seems like such a fraud life I am living I am fed up and oh so very very sad.

[DrBill100]

.... I lack for nothing, I have my bills paid but at what cost? It seems like such a fraud life I am living I am fed up and oh so very very sad.

Your husbands actions are causing harm to the family and you seem to have responded to that directly in relation to finances. Someone has to sustain the family unit and based on your description your husband is unwilling or unable to assist. There is nothing you can do at the moment to penetrate his resistance to help.

Order one is to get assistance for yourself that will allow you to sustain and learn how to better deal with the familial and emotional turmoil you're living in. Not a simple task, there is no easy solution and you will need support and assistance. But you're not alone.

In my opinion the most accessible and helpful resource would be Al-Anon. I'm providing you with a link to the organization. They also have a group for teens at this same site.

Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen

I recommend this group as a first step because AA and affiliates have a much longer track record of dealing with alcoholism than Gamblers Anonymous has with dealing with gambling addictions although GA works on the same principles.

I hope this helps