[Spontaneouslemon]

I'm throwing my 21st party at a bar and am inviting about 50 people. My friends claim that part of the fun of going to a party is having access to free alcohol and getting drunk. Problem is I can't afford to buy drinks for everyone at $5.50 per beer and $8 per vodka drink.
My question is, how necessary is it for me to buy drinks for people? I was thinking of buying about 10 drinks for the first of my friends who arrive, and that's it since I won't be able to afford to buy drinks for everyone anyway. Is that even necessary? I mean people go to bars and buy their own drinks all the time! Doesn't it make sense for them to buy their own drink even though it is at a party in a bar?
Anyway, is it really necessary to get that drunk at a party? I see this as a meeting point for all of my friends to hang out together on one night for my birthday and not necessarily an opportunity to get drunk for free...

What are your opinions?

[Clough]

Hi, Spontaneouslemon!

What are some other reasons that you're having the party at a bar, please?

Perhaps the atmosphere? Food? Price to rent a room? Games that might be available? It's a usual hang-out for a lot of people you and others know? Maybe the bar has a special price on a "birthday package" for a party?

Thanks!

[justcurious55]

Well, I'm only 20. But turning 21 very soon. There's no way I would buy all of my friends enough drinks for everyone to get drunk on my birthday. Truthfully, I'd be a little hurt if no one bought me a drink for my 21st. I think you're right- it should be more of a meeting point than an opportunity for them to get drunk for free. Is that what they did for their 21st? Buy everyone else drinks all night?

[Spontaneouslemon]

Clough- I'm having the party there because I love the atmosphere and I'm able to reserve a fairly large area for free. Also I was going to throw a house party at my friend's house but that didn't work out so this is the alternative.

Justcurious- a lot of my friends have house parties and therefore supply the drinks but also ask people to bring their own drinks, which I can't do since this is a bar. (it's actually more of a pub)

I mean people can have fun at a party without getting crazy drunk right? I mean if they'd like to drink they can always buy something, and I'd rather they not get so drunk anyway because most will be driving home...

[Spontaneouslemon]

Oh and also, my mom keeps saying that I can't have a party and not offer anything to people. Is that seriously a problem? I mean they can get anything they want at the bar to eat or to drink. And I'll be bringing a cake, so they can have that!

Thoughts?

[justcurious55]

I like clough's suggestion, seeing if you can get a discount. Buying some of the food and drink would be nice. But I still don't feel like you should have to buy enough for everyone else to get drunk. Buy what you feel is appropriate and if they want more than you can offer, they can pay for whatever they want.

[Clough]

Is this the type of bar where underage people are allowed? Around here, there are some really great bars that also serve a variety of food where it's okay for underage people to be there.

I guess that I should ask though - Will there be any underage people there who'll be your guests?

[hheath541]

I've been to several parties where the host did not supply the drinks. In fact, the birthday person usually didn't end up paying for anything. Real friends wouldn't expect you to do that on YOUR birthday. You're supposed to be having fun, not paying a several hundred dollar (if not more) bar tab.

Just make it clear that people are expected to pay for their OWN drinks. If they don't like it, then they don't have to show up.

[Spontaneouslemon]

Clough- There may be a few underage people but less than a handful for sure. Most will be over 21. They only card if you order a drink.

[Clough]

Okay. So, you're getting a fairly large area for free. That's great! :)

I would assume that this would be a party where you would want everyone to leave having happy memories of being there, as well as being made to feel special, because you're the one who invited them to your birthday.

If I was to put on that kind of party for myself and my friends, and it was to be held at a nice bar/pub, I would expect them to buy their own drinks, if they would want to. If the party were to be in my home, I would provide some kinds of drinks, although minimal, as well as invite people to bring their own.

No matter where the party were to be held, I would make it clear in a written invitation, as to what will be happening at the party. Food, (for example: finger foods, appetizers & h'orderves, snacks, desserts, etc.) Not all of those, but those are what they might be called. Socializing, celebrating your 21st. Birthday, party games, a cash bar will be available, etc. Any of the foregoing descriptive words could be used in an invitation.

1. Do you plan on sending out written invitations?

2. Would you like to be able to have food(s) available for free at the party?

You're already providing a cake. Perhaps some other desserts like ice cream and candy would also be nice to have.

Depending on how you answer, I do have some other ideas for you...

[hheath541]

I would advise against having too many sugary things there. I think cake will be more than enough. Liquor and desserts don't always mix well.

[Clough]

What I was getting at was to potentially maximize promoting things like foods, desserts and activities and to minimize anything being centered around drinking alcoholic beverages. Although, guests would be welcome to purchase alcoholic drinks, if they desired to do so.

It could also maybe be "plugged" as being a family-oriented party, so that guests would realize that, even though it is to be held at a bar, it's not intended to be some sort of drunken bash.