[Italiantim]

Okay here's the story...

I love this girl, liked her for one year prior to asking her out. We have a lot of things in common [Both 23 (exactly a month apart), both biochemistry majors, both do Hip-Hop & Salsa Dancing, both have dark hair & eyes, both Christian]...
I am friends with almost all of her friends and her family... they all like me - some a lot.

The problem is that when she first told me she liked me, she said she needed to be by herself for at least a year maybe two, so I have been waiting 6-7 months now just to date her with both of us liking each other... I haven't kissed her or anything, I spend money on her and give her compliments... too much at times - because she tells me to cool it...
The two last boyfriends she had - the first one cheated on her (they lasted 2 months), and the second asked her to lie to her parents and was pushing sex on her (they lasted 3 weeks)...
I haven't even dated her yet... which is a problem for me.

I also moved away to college, I thought it would make things easier on her - for us to wait - but I don't know if it helps... she told me recently that she liked me up until I left (which was 3 months)... then she started to not like me as much... then when I came back she started liking me again (which was 1 day)... then when I came back for thanksgiving (5 days)... we got into a heated discussion (I guess an argument - without anger)...

She said she didn't feel right about holding my hand, kissing on the check, me holding her... She said she liked me but didn't know if I was the right guy,
And here I am frustrated that I haven't even kissed her yet.

I need a relationship, but does she need more time or does she need a relationship?
I have been trying to respect her wishes on waiting, but it seems that she is losing interest in me when I don't give her attention.

[kp2171]

Be done with her.

You are putting your life on hold for someone who isn't terribly interested in what you want.

Yes, it sucks. Yes, you're not going to like letting her go.

Let her go.

Like right now.

My 20 year old daughter had a guy she actually dated, then broke up with. Different situation, I know, but later they were "just friends"... but he was clearly crazy about her... spent a lot of time and money on her and she let him.

It drove me mad. I wanted her to tell him to go... cause she clearly liked the attention, but didn't want anything else. Luckily, it eventually ended.

You are catering to her desires and its not OK for you. Being a butler is a bad thing. It will NOT get you any closer to her.

So... time to move on. If she finds your absence unbearable shell hunt you down. But the chances of that happening are slim.

She likes you, she likes the attention, and she may not even want to hurt you... but she doesn't have the guts to hurt you. She should. Its wrong.

Time for you to hurt, cut the ties, and get over her. You'll never get over her until you leave her. You haven't left yet.

Its time to leave.

[valinors_sorrow]

The pain of unrequitted love is a lot like the pain of fibromyalgia I complain about to my doctor. He says show me what hurts. So I lift my arms into the air and stretch, telling him it only really hurts doing this. He says to me, "I have an answer..... quit doing that."

There comes a time in every person's life to learn this lessson about balance and proportion-- in friendnship, in love, in business, in something... that being too invested in it when the signs all around say better not... is not wise.

You are too invested. And its not wise. I am sorry its not working out for you but the longer you stall leaving this girl, the more time you waste in finding the girl who will feel about you the way you feel about this girl. Love is so much more fulfilling when its reciprocal that its worth taking up the challenge to find it.

[oblit]

You've ruined almost everything you had going for you when you became her money bag and purse and compliment giver. The only way you can get her back is to dramatically change, and that won't happen overnight. Don't give compliments, tease her, make jokes about her, bust her balls, it works! And don't by her gifts unless you want her to lose all attraction to you.