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    NCDad's Avatar
    NCDad Posts: 65, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Apr 27, 2010, 06:37 PM
    Physical attraction
    Has anyone here ever stayed in a relationship with someone that you weren't physically attracted to because the person treated you so well and had such a great personality that it didn't matter? If so, how did it work out? Did the physical attraction grow over time?
    monkeygurl199427's Avatar
    monkeygurl199427 Posts: 34, Reputation: 3
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    #2

    Apr 28, 2010, 07:11 AM

    Well I have had a relationship like that and we lasted for 3-4 months and it just all went down hill from there. But thts just because he was a jerk but the attraction did grow over time and I fell in love with him and he broke up with me and my heart ended up broken but that doesn't mean it will happen to u!
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    Apr 28, 2010, 07:19 AM
    It depends on how important physical attraction is to you. It varies from person to person. What's important to you?

    However, I do caution that if you plan to go into a relationship hoping that certain things will change, then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. Be grateful for what is in front of you and expect something else.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Apr 28, 2010, 07:22 AM

    That is a hard position to be in. Sometimes throughout a long relationship the physical end will have its ups and downs (pardon the pun), but there is a sustainable foundation to keep you going through those times.

    But to have a relationship with someone you are not physically attracted to- ever- and there is no sex, would be a problem that would cause a rift in most relationships I would say.

    Why is it like this for you. Or is it your partner who has no intererest. Could there be a physical problem causing this that is worth checking out?

    Do you talk about it together? How does the conversation go, and what are the expectations of each, and is the non-interested partner willing to change?

    Maybe you can throw a little light on the subject to help with offering more suggestions and thoughts.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Apr 30, 2010, 08:56 PM

    While attractions are important, they are not the whole story as when the lust wears off, and you start seeing other things to like, OR dislike, that's when things get serious.

    I think what ever you feel, take time to know someone well before you jump to any conclusions, but have fun getting to know them. Then you will know if anything can be built or not. I just think it takes more than physical attractions, or just being nice for a real relationship to work. Could you just be in a friendship? Sounds like it on your part. That's not a bad thing though, I think.
    Larken85's Avatar
    Larken85 Posts: 696, Reputation: 146
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    #6

    May 4, 2010, 03:27 AM

    In my opinion physical attraction goes hand in hand with true love. It is my opinion that if you are truly in love, then you will be physically attracted to each other even if they are not pleasing to the eyes. I don't think repulsion and love mix well.

    But also I have to say that I am shallow and an ulgy person is someone I'd never see. If she is not at least a 6 out of 10 I will not date her because even the worst case senerio can be a 6 if they do a little maintenance on themselves. (besically saying that if she is a scrounge I am not giving her a second though.) That's a personality thing though, if she takes care of herself she is more able to keep her own areas clean so you do not have to live with or clean up after a giant pig.

    Ok not hijacking here. Do I think physical attraction is important in a true love relationship? Yes. Do I think that if you love someone you will be attracted to them? Yes. Do I think that you can gain attraction for someone... Not as much as you'd hope. She's either got your goat or she don't, that's how I see it.

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