[quacktop]

Hi, Im trying to find out whether I would be able to obtain any legal rights to my potential child. My situation is a bit complicated but to summarize, I met a girl who was married but separated at the time we were together. We were together for only about 2 months and we broke up. At the time, she told me she was no longer married and told me specifically her divorce papers went through. Only a week or 2 after we broke up she went back with her husband and moved in with him. Apparently they are still legally married. Shortly after she found out she was pregnant and the date the doctors told her fall right in the time frame we were together. Now, I truly understand this is a tough situation for her but she is making this extremely difficult for me to be a part of this child's life. I want to do the right thing by her and the child but all she wants is to get rid of me. I have offered her money for medical bills, child support, and any other help she may need. Recently she was dropped from her insurance company so she called me and asked if I could pay for her prenatal vitamins, which of course I did. *** Data Edited **

Also, when she first found out she was pregnant she asked if I would call some doctors for her, which of course I did. I have also signed up for an expecting parent class to help show her I want to do the right thing. **** Personal data Edited ***

Can I be the child's legal father and have my name on the birth certificate? Will the child get my last name? Is there any way possible for me to obtain full custody? I do not want the kids mother out of his or her life at all, I feel it is extremely important for the kid to know who his her or mother is and I wouldn't want to hurt her. I would make sure she spent all the time she could with the kid, but she wants me out of her and the kids life entirely. I also firmly believe the kids best interest is of the utmost importance here, and given our situations, I think I can provide a better life for the kid, actually I know I can, and I don't mean that in a negative way towards her. Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you very much in advance.

[Fr_Chuck]

Where you are at has some bearing, yes the husband will be considered the legal father if you don't contest this, very soon after birth. You have no rights at this time, and to be frank, you should not be Jumping and missing work to get things for her, she is not with you, and you are just the babies daddy, not her partner any more.

Once the child is born, you will need to file for a paternity test and either joint custody or visits with the child

[quacktop]

where you are at has some bearing, yes the husband will be considered the legal father if you don't contest this, very soon after birth. You have no rights at this time, and to be frank, you should not be Jumping and missing work to get things for her, she is not with you, and you are just the babies daddy, not her partner any more.

Once the child is born, you will need to file for a paternity test and either joint custody or visits with the child

I understand leaving work was a bit much, but she completely cut me off for over a month and called me out of the blue for help. When she called me I had no idea where she lived and she didn't answer any of my phone calls or texts. Of course I would try to to see her and discuss things at that point. Not to mention "just the babies daddy"?? This is my kid and I will do anything I have to in order to make sure that child is born healthy... how is that wrong?

[Fr_Chuck]

Being used by the mother, being played, and one day with or without some supplements is not a issue.

It sounds like you are not over the mother, and hope that though the baby you can have some relationship with her.

I want you to emotionally keep this where it is, just the baby, not the mother.

[ScottGem]

There is a sticky note at the top of this forum titled Putative Father Registry. You need to read that, it will give you information to help.

I would recommend retaining a family law attorney to help you protect your rights. And you definitely have rights, but you will have to fight for them.

[quacktop]

Being used by the mother, being played, and one day with or without some supplements is not a issue.

It sounds like you are not over the mother, and hope that though the baby you can have some relationship with her.

I want you to emotionally keep this where it is, just the baby, not the mother.

VERY FAR FROM IT!! I am very much over the mother and have no intention of being back with her. As a matter of fact, I currently have a girlfriend that I have known for years and we are very close. Also, I was the one that broke up with her. MY PRIMARY CONCERN IS FOR THE CHILD. Her husband can have her and I DO NOT want to hurt their marriage. As stated before, I didn't have any contact with her and needed to know her intentions, plus, if her husband can't afford to support the kid, I will do my best to help out being as how it is my child. Thanks for your response though.

[quacktop]

There is a sticky note at the top of this forum titled Putative Father Registry. You need to read that, it will give you information to help.

I would recommend retaining a family law attorney to help you protect your rights. And you definitely have rights, but you will have to fight for them.

Thank you. I did read the Putative father registry before posting. I just thought it was a bit vague on my behalf. I will indeed register.

[Fr_Chuck]

Edited per OP request

[GV70]

Can I be the the child's legal father and have my name on the birth certificate?

It depends on which state has jurisdiction.

Thank you. I did read the Putative father registry before posting. I just thought it was a bit vague on my behalf. I will indeed register.

No,you do not have right to register if the mother is married.