[Me_Myself_I]

((This is not my account , it's my friends.. won't let me sign up I don't know why but she recommended I ask here as she has no idea of what I could do.))

Ill cut straight to the point. When I was 16 I fell pregnant. Completely unplanned. We were using protection. It failed. I took 3 home pregnancy tests 2 weeks after missing my 1st period and all were positive, when I told my boyfriend who was 23 at the time at around 8weeks he beat me, kicked me in the stomach and told me 'there'l b nothing there now'.. he was right.. 2days later I had horrible pains and was bleeding heavily. I was 16, told no one , didn't go to the docs.. nothing.. I was frightened.

Last night I had a bit of a drink and my friend was complaining that her ex partner was being mean to her on the phone.. I told her not to let it spoil her night out (her birthday). She told me I didn't understand because he beat her..

((this friend has the biggest mouth in the world and would tell everyone anything, that's just her nature but I still love her to pieces))

Taxi comes, we're tipsy , she starts about her ex again.. me, having a drink blurted out that my ex beat me when I told him I was pregnant and then I miscarried (im taking it that I did, I'm not 100% completely sure as I didn't go and get checked at the hospital, still to this day having problems) The taxi driver stopped the car (I know him well) and my mate turned around and I realised I shouldn't have said anything.. it was only a matter of time before it came out anyway as I think about it everyday

I'm scared now because I was the only one who knew and couldn't find the courage to tell my mum at the time.. my mate as I said would tell anyone anything and the taxi driver is good friends with my mum. I don't want it to get back to my mum because I've only ever wanted to make her proud of me , not disappointed.. I'm so stuck , I don't know what to do. Help ?

[Alty]

How old are you now?

Maybe it's best if your mom finds out, but not from your friend or the taxi driver, from you.

I really recommend getting checked out, you said you're still having problems, it could be that when you miscarried everything didn't come out on it's own. You really don't want to leave this to chance, you need to see a doctor.

We all make mistakes, we all have things in our past we don't want people to know, but this is one of those things you should tell your mom about. I'm sure she loves you very much. She may be shocked, even hurt, but after that she can be your support and help you through this.

[Me_Myself_I]

I'm near 19 now.. it happened a while ago.. I don't take regular periods anymore I have horrible pains often.. I just don't no how to tell her.. she's always been telling me to be careful and never to come into her and tell her I'm pregnant.. she's having a lot of problems with my youngest brother at the minute too , I don't want to hurt her...

[Jake2008]

The first thing you need to do is assume that the pregnancy tests were correct, you were pregnant, and your ex beating you, caused a miscarriage. Please see a Doctor and get a complete physical to determine whether there were (and are) complications from the beating, and/or, losing the pregnancy.

When something slips out during conversation, it's out there. Just as you posting the experience here, is out there for the world to see. You can't take the words back, you can't stop what will probably be a direct b-line to your mother by her friend, the taxi driver. It's out, no use crying over that part.

You cannot determine how she will react. I think that she would likely be more concerned with the psycho boyfriend beating you with substantial consequences would make her angry, and wonder why you never said anything.

Why not copy our your original post here, and just sit with her over some tea, and let her read it. She will have questions, and you will be able to convince her that you are seeing a Doctor, and had you not been drinking, allt he information would never have surfaced in the first place.

I know if I were your mother, I would expect my friend to tell me if my 16 year old had experienced such violence from a boyfriend, let alone a lost pregnancy because of it.

Don't be afraid. Just tell the truth and get it over with.

[Me_Myself_I]

Its done, I've told her, it was hard and yes she was angry but concerned..
She can't believe he's practically gotton away with murder. I've made her promise not to tell the male members of the family because some would hunt him down..
It's of to the doctors to get checked with mum in tagn behind me..
Thanks for all your help. X

[hheath541]

I'm glad you told her. You shouldn't have had to go through that alone. At least now you have support, even if it is after the fact.

I hope everything checks out OK at the doctor.