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Divorce, relocation, and explaining it to child
My husband told me this week that he would like to file for divorce. This is unexpected to me as I thought we were 'working' on our marriage. He is scheduled to move across the united states January 1 for a new position within his company and we have a 3 year old son together (he will be 4 in January). I don't know how to talk to my son about this. Should I focus more on the fact that my husband has to move away for his new job or that my husband and I are no longer going to be together? What do I say to him? He is a very sensitive child.
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Divorce is never easy to explain to a child. Does your son already know that his Dad is relocating for the job? I would start there and explain that while his Dad is relocating, it does not mean that his Dad is abandoning him. Hopefully your husband will do all in his power and ability to keep his relationship with his son. To choose an opportunity like a job relocation to walk away from his family... I can understand some of the logic (clean break, etc.) but it still stinks.
Do you have someone you trust that you can talk to? Such as your pastor or a counselor? Either one or both can be helpful in making the transition - there are support groups with people who have had similar experiences that might lend you some insight into dealing with how to present the divorce to your son. Lying about the divorce is not right and blurting it out is not helpful either. Should also add, please contact a lawyer, if you have not done so already. A lawyer can be your best ally. Good luck. |
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The baby is three years old and does not have a total understanding of many social situations. Have the father of the child call daily so, that he can keep his voice on the child’s mind. Remember your husband is divorcing you not the child right? Make the necessary moves to keep the child involve with the father. Question has the father made arrangements (like child support) for his son? If, so good.
It is never a good idea for a parent to move so far away from the child. This action is never good for the child. Keep the dramas that are coming at a minimum and always keep in mind this matter of calm and positive responses doing this period is good for your mind and self esteem of the child and each other. I am sorry about the divorce.. |
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