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Idrees · Apr 21, 2010, 01:34 AM

My mother's age is 68 now. I want to be good son of her and make her happy, but I don't know how. Her life is just reading newspaper and watching TV only. I want her to learn computer from me, so that this way her mind will be used more and it'll be good for her brain cells and memory. But she is too rigid in her decisions. No matter what I say she'll never do this and says that she'll never learn computer from me. I've also bought a package of calling to UK on landline from Skype messenger. I make calls and let my mom talk to my eldest sister who lives in UK. If my mom learns just little bit of computer she'll be able to make calls on her own from my computer whenever I am not at home. It'll be great for her if she participate in forums or blogs. SOME BODY PLEASE TELL ME, HOW CAN I CONVINCE MY MOTHER TO LEARN COMPUTER FROM ME. I'LL BE VERY THANKFUL TO THE ONE WHO CAN GIVE ME A PRACTICLAL CONVINCING SOLUTION.

Catsmine · Apr 21, 2010, 01:57 AM

Merely a suggestion: You or your sister should post some video to Youtube or join Facebook or simply transfer some photos and movies to a dvd. Then play them for your mother. Show her how to double click and play the dvd or open your sister's video and voilà! Your mother is using the computer.

Gemini54 · Apr 21, 2010, 02:02 AM

Another thing that really works is getting parents to communicate by email with their friends - and show them how easy it is to send photos, etc.

Also, looking for things they want to know on the internet is a great way to get them on the computer.

My dad started using the computer when he was 80 and we can't get him off it now! It drives my mother crazy.

Do remember though - if they've never used a keyboard, it can be daunting.

JoeCanada76 · Apr 21, 2010, 03:58 AM

I would say DO NOT CONVINCE HER AT ALL. It is your mothers choice whether she wants to learn the computer or not. There are many other ways of staying in touch like the old fashioned telephone.

ScottGem · Apr 21, 2010, 04:05 AM

The best way is to show her that she can do things she is interested in. If she likes books, show her how to get book reviews or forums where she can discuss the books she likes. Show her how to use Hulu to watch TV programs.

Don't say "I want to teach you to use the computer". Instead say "I want to show you how you can do things you will enjoy!"

cdad · Apr 21, 2010, 01:03 PM

What did your mother do for a living? How is her eyesight?

justcurious55 · Apr 21, 2010, 01:14 PM

I hate being told I should do things. And the more I'm pushed to do something I'm not interested in, the more stubborn I get about even considering it.

I swore I was never going to snorkel. My aunt gave up trying to push me. Instead she would go on about how much fun it was seeing this or that and how much fun it was going to be when I was in ear shot. All of a sudden I went from feeling pressured to deciding I wanted in on the fun too. I wonder if your mom would be the same with the computer. If you just started using hulu or looking up book reviews and sharing it with her, I wonder if she would eventually push you aside and start doing it herself.

Idrees · Jun 3, 2010, 03:45 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

What did your mother do for a living? How is her eyesight?

She is 68 years old and wears glasses for both nearsightedness and farsightedness. She is a housewife. My father died 2 years ago. She just watches news on TV, read newspaper. She is not really living a life like a lively person i.e. not enjoying life but just passing it. I want her to live a very lively and enjoyable life. She doesn't use her left leg to climb stairs and uses only her right leg and her left leg is getting weaker and weaker. I want her to use her brain and left leg. If she operate computer she'll use her brain more and so won't get old, I mean won't become weak brained and will enjoy using computer as internet is so fascinating.

If you think you can give me some more good ideas and for this you have to ask more then please let me know.

Idrees · Jun 3, 2010, 03:50 AM

Originally Posted by justcurious55

i hate being told i should do things. and the more i'm pushed to do something i'm not interested in, the more stubborn i get about even considering it.

i swore i was never going to snorkel. my aunt gave up trying to push me. instead she would go on about how much fun it was seeing this or that and how much fun it was going to be when i was in ear shot. all of a sudden i went from feeling pressured to deciding i wanted in on the fun too. i wonder if your mom would be the same with the computer. if you just started using hulu or looking up book reviews and sharing it with her, i wonder if she would eventually push you aside and start doing it herself.

What you just said, seems very natural and the right way. But this is what I want to know. Can you please tell me how can I create a scenario in her mind so that she'll decide herself to start learning computer and use it?

JoeCanada76 · Jun 3, 2010, 04:41 AM

Just because you think she is not living life does not mean she isn't living life her own way. Even if she were to learn the computer, IF she wanted to she still is growing older and the brain is getting older. These things are the facts of life.

cdad · Jun 3, 2010, 01:40 PM

First off you need to define what her likes are. Favorite TV shows or information she wants to know. If she is into sewing or knitting. Or like to experiment in the kitchen. All those things are important and relavent. Then if you have a laptop or can borrow one you can download a few pages and show her what it is like sometime. Keep it in the rhelm of her interests only and don't overload her with information. Go very slow. Also you can resize the screen so she can see easier. That may help with the glasses. If she starts then she may find herself liking it but those first few steps are going to be in baby shoes. So take it easy on her. Also if you go to a mall or other places that have a kiosk in them be sure to use it. Look up coupon sites etc.

dontknownuthin · Jun 8, 2010, 04:20 PM

The computer doesn't interest her and I think you need to try something else for getting her out more, and just let her use her snail mail and phone calls to stay in touch. Your way makes more sense - her way makes her comfortable. In this instance, her comfort is more important.

I do understand your frusteratrions - my parents own a business and must use computers but will not learn the most basic things. They actually hire an engineer to load software and install automatic updates because they are so afraid of doing anything new with what they call, "the machines".

I have learned that they are happy doing it their way and have stopped trying to interest them in learning more.

Perhaps your mom might enjoy seeing you more often, or being taken to lunch or a play once in a while by her kids. Or maybe she would be interested in moving somewhere that has more activities for seniors. Then again, she may be a private person and enjoy her solitude.

Consider how she feels, not how you would feel if you were her. Is she depressed or complaining? If she's happy, let her be.