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frogbert · Apr 20, 2010, 06:53 PM

I am sad. A dear friend of mine just dropped off the face of the earth. He didn't tell me or his friends that he moved. A mutual friend tried to call him and his phone had been disconnected/changed.
Im having a hard time moving on. There are so many unanswered questions. One being why? Why would he do that to his friends, and to me who was close to him?
The loss has been more hard on me than my other friends. I guess its because I put allot of value on friendship. When you find really good friends you hope you will be for a long time.
How does one get over the hurt and pain this has caused?

Jake2008 · Apr 21, 2010, 01:15 AM

Friendship is an investment, and a mutual sharing of your lives. When it has been good, and you have had no reason to expect that it wouldn't continue, and then he disappears, a piece of your heart goes along with that.

Without answers as to why, you can only accept that he had his own reasons, and didn't want to go through all the emotional upheaval of saying goodbye. It may have been just too much for him at the time.

Despite knowing him well, he kept a part of himself, to himself. I would be wondering too, what caused him to do this, and leave all the pain behind without an explanation.

Time will heal the hurting, and grieving this loss isn't something you can avoid. Eventually you will think of him from time to time, but it won't hurt, and the good memories will come to the surface. The friendship was good, at least until the very end.

Take good care of yourself.

Gemini54 · Apr 21, 2010, 02:06 AM

I guess the first thing I would say is, try not to take it personally.

It's not about you but about them. Clearly there was a part of their lives they didn't want to share with anyone.

Who knows? This may be their way of starting afresh and have nothing to do with the value they place on friendship but more on the value they place on privacy and moving on.

JoeCanada76 · Apr 21, 2010, 04:02 AM

Sometimes people need to start fresh. It happens more often then you think. I guarantee you the move was for a reason and there was a reason for not telling anybody. I wish your friend the best and I am sure the decision was for the best.

frogbert · Apr 21, 2010, 08:00 PM

Thank you everyone. I really appreciated your answers.

Kitkat22 · Apr 21, 2010, 08:10 PM

Sometimes people get into a rut and feel as if they need a change. I don't know what triggered his actions but apparently he felt he need to break all ties.

Had he lost a job? Had his marriage or relationship been suffering?
Maybe he just needs time to clear his head. If you are concerned
That he may be in some sort of danger or if he's really depressed
Maybe you could call his folks and ask about him.

If they tell you he's fine then don't try to contact him.He has reasons.
I'm really sorry!:)

Blessings:)

frogbert · Apr 21, 2010, 10:17 PM

I thought about doing that, but decided against it. The very last time I talked to him before he disappeared was that he said he had a job prospect that looked good. He sounded very positive. So he wasn't in any sort of danger, or depressed. My heart has been broken and I know it will take time to heal.
Thanks again for the sympathetic ear.

Kitkat22 · Apr 21, 2010, 11:07 PM

Originally Posted by frogbert

I thought about doing that, but decided against it. The very last time I talked to him before he disappeared was that he said he had a job prospect that looked good. He sounded very positive. So he wasn't in any sort of danger, or depressed. My heart has been broken and I know it will take time to heal.
Thanks again for the sympathetic ear.

You are welcome.. Please let us know how you're doing. Again I am so very sorry... Blessings:)