[notsurenow]

Hello,

So, the mother of my child wants to move out of state and will be anywhere from 2,000 to 3,000 miles away from me. I'm currently in college full time and also work full time, so I only have the weekends to really spend quality time anyway. I'm struggling with this, because I want to have my son but I also want what's best for him which means me continuing with school so I can provide a better life. The mother has agreed to continue with joint custody with me and that I will get him for 3 months out of the year during the summer. I spoke with my mom about this to get her opinion and she's convinced that it is going to ruin my relationship with my son and that he and I will never be able to establish one. He's currently 7 months.

I'm basically looking for opinions from those that actually have child psychology background of some sort. I need to know whether it will truly affect my child or if this can still be salvaged. If it is, what can I do to keep the relationship with my son going?

[startover22]

I agree with your mother. I think the move will be extremely hard on your relationship, he is so young and needs to bond with you. Just think after she moves, it will be a long time till you see him again, is he going to know who you are? Is he going to be comfy to leave his "home" and come and stay for a few months with you? He needs all the time that you are able to give him. Is there any way you can transfer and give up being settled to follow? I am not an expert, but this is almost obvious as young as he is!

[Fr_Chuck]

This is not in the legal forum but my two cents worth,

If there is a child custody order in place, it should restrict her from moving without your permission, and if she did, allow you to order her to return the kids to your state.

If there is no court ordered child custody and child visit order in place, why ?

[mich02]

This will definitely affect the relationship you and your son have as he grows. Just think you won't be able to be there for his firsts. If you choose to remain that far apart think of all his soccer games, school events and everything that you will miss.

Ask yourself if you would consider moving closer to him after graduation? What if you met someone where you are now? Or got your dream job?

As the previous poster stated if you have a child support/custody/visitation order she would be going against it by moving without your permission. If you don't have one, you should really file a motion to get one.