[yodel]

My 4 year old daughter will not say hello to adults or other children when they first greet her. In her own home she will run and hide, and when we are out or at pre school she will hide behind me, completely ignore them or even sometimes scoul at people. Ive tried lots of encouragement but when I request a hello from her she digs her heels in even more and can be quit rude. Although she does come round in time I do feel she is old enough now to have this social grace. Any suggestions??

[redhed35]

Sometimes it takes a little longer.

Telling storys and playing games that include 'hello' goodbye' and perhaps shaking hands.

Practice with her at home, example.
'hello' and shake her hand' make it fun and a game.

She could be nervous in social situations,which in not uncommon in 4 year olds.

Don't force the issue,she will come around in her own time,if there are siblings,cousins or other small children around her,encourage them too.

Sometimes new adults can be a scary prospect,show her how,encourage her,but don't give out to her about it.

She sounds perfectly normal,happy and healthy at home.

[Jake2008]

I agree with Red.

Prepare her as much as you can through 'practise', and if she is old enough to understand the message, and old enough to respond inappropriately, be direct with her when she is in situations you've described.

Take her aside and explain that she will be here (playschool or wherever she is), and to just go and play with the other kids.

Don't coddle her or make excuses for her.

If it's in your own home, with adults she has not met before, after she says 'hello', she can go to her room and play.

Might be a good idea to introduce an incentive for the first little while, not only to encourage her, but to make sure she understands your message.

At four, I'd be working hard on this issue, otherwise you'll be faced with similar behaviour in places like the dentist's office.