[luckyish]

My daughter's step daughter is unwed and is now pregnant with her second out of wed lock child. My daughter wishes to give her step daughter a shower, but have the shower at my home. My daughter and I both live in the same neighborhood and she wishes to invite nieghbors to the shower. Is giving shower for unwed mother proper/ etioquete wise?
Problems:
#1. Unwed mother
#2. Second child
#3. Given by girl's step mother
#4. Neighbors of my daughter who have had baby showers that we have attended. I am unconfortable that since they have had showers that she has attended, that they might feel obligated to attend. Not sure about shower for unwed mother and especially a second baby.

[JudyKayTee]

I know people do it all the time but proper etiquette is that showers are NOT given by family members.

I also think a baby shower, gifts, for a second child (in or out of wedlock) is asking a lot of people.

[justcurious55]

I recently attended a baby shower for an unwed mother who was pregnant with her 4th child. I didn't have any issues with her being unwed or for it not being her first child or that he ex mother in law and a friend were the ones throwing it. Neither did any of the other guests. But, if you have issues with it, I would suggest that your daughter finds another location for the shower. There's no reason you should have to host something that you're uncomfortable with in your home.

And I think if your neighbors feel obligated to come that's their own issue and no one else's, not even yours. Personally, I enjoy attending baby showers. It doesn't feel like an obligation. They tend to be very happy occasions. A new baby is about to come into the world. Everyone is there to have a good time and support the mother in getting ready to welcome that baby into the world.

[Catsmine]

I would decline to host the shower since you are uncomfortable with the idea. The second child point would be my hangup, as well. Most etiquette references say that it is becoming more common to shower subsequent children, but you can stick to the traditionalist view and avoid confrontations about the other issues you bring up.

[dontknownuthin]

A shower would be inappropriate because you are too close of a relative to properly host it, and also because it's a second baby. It is not inappropriate to celebrate the arrival of any new baby though, of course.

In our family, we have a family brunch at someone's home directly following the christening. Men, women and children are all invited and they can go to the church too, if they like. Recognizing not all cultures baptize babies, another option is to just have a family cookout after the baby is born. The mother can show off the new baby, the family can get together and support her with good wishes, and most people will bring a baby gift. I would only invite the closest of friends, and neighbors who are also particularly close to your family. Gifts should not be the focus nor expected, but people will probably bring gifts.