[boredalotathome]

I think my husband is bisexual and secetrely hiding it from me. A couple of years ago I found out he was emailing another man some pretty intimate sexual... I am not sure what to call them... for example, he wrote to this friend "it would take seconds after you....." and "put your hand down your pants..." and "last night during a... I thought about (another woman)... Also, I know that he frequented web cam sites with this friend regularly, even though to this day he denies it... also lots of pornography was on his computer, but not entirely gay in nature... he of course denied at first, all of that too.
Could someone help me with this... He has stated that this was all harmless fun although I am still having a hard time with being his wife, and he has NEVER talked to me this way before. Please shed some light.. thanks

[Synnen]

You need to talk to HIM--and not about what his sexual label is, but about your feelings on the way he talks to his friend and how his actions hurt you.

Drag him to counseling with you if you have to.

[Larken85]

Yeah, even if it is just harmless fun to him, its cheating to you. Guy and guy relationships of any kind more than friendship is the same as guy on girl with the exception of a few body parts.

I don't think it is harmless fun, the way it sounds he is bi, however would you not love him the same non-the-less so long as he resided with you and you alone? And I agree, counseling is a great idea. Tell him you are unhappy with the relationship and it needs to be fixed or it won't last long. If he feels like he could lose you he might be convinced enough to go. But when you talk to him do not attack him.

Making him feel like his actions are immoral will make him rebel. You need to say when you do this, it makes me feel like this. I have felt this way for some time. Use your feelings to express how you feel. Do not attack with your words and say like you did this, you did that, you being this way.

You get it? Just try and walk through this with him. If he is cheating you on, with either a man or a woman, there is a bigger issue here than his sexuality for sure. And I personally call sending sexual messages (that are deffinately not jokes) cheating anyway. Just like sexting.

[Fr_Chuck]

Unless you have a open marriage ( some do) where you can date and see other people, it does not matter if he is bi sexual, homosexual, or like farm animals, he took a vow to be faithful to you and you alone,

So being bi sexual is not an excuse to cheat on you.